A Song to Inspire

Monday May 14, 2012

Today I was extremely tired. Chad got really sick during the night and was not up to going boating with Lincoln & the girls on Sand Hollow. He decided to stay at the condo with me and sleep most of the day. I didn’t want to get his illness, so I stayed in the master bedroom and bath area the entire day. It was fine, because I just slept on and off all day long. 

At one point I got online and saw an amazing youtube clip of a children’s oncology ward at a Seattle Hospital. The kids and their nurses had put together a 4 minute video of the children and the nursing staff lip-syncing the song “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkston. MY song! There were pictures of the kids dancing and singing in the halls of the hospital. Many of them had posters with words written on them like: HOPE, FIGHTER, LIVE. I was so moved by their enthusiasm and smiles. I cried and cried as I watched them. It just hit a cord in me and I was overcome by emotion. I’m grateful for the blessings in my life. I’m grateful that I’m getting better and I look forward to the day that I will be cancer free. 

Mother's Day

Sunday, May 13, 2012

I woke up to the delicious smell of the chunky cinnamon toast casserole cooking down stairs. The sun was shining and I felt so good, especially for Day 3. I got dressed for church and joined my family for breakfast. Ashley had been working all morning setting the table, cutting up strawberries and getting the food ready. It was so appreciated. We all went to Sacrament Meeting together. It was such a gift for me to be there with all my children & Lincoln. Tyler leaves Tuesday to pick up Andrea from Ecuador, Chad flies to Alaska for work next Sunday and then life will be different as Tyler gets married, but for today, we were together as a family and I loved it! I'm grateful for the honor of being a mother and having the experience of loving my children and learning from them. They are incredible young people and I love having them in my life.

This after noon we packed up our things and headed to St. George for a few days to spend on the lake at Sand Hollow. Tyler didn’t come, but the rest of us went. I will just hang out at the condo while Linc and the 3 kids go boating during the day. I’m not allowed to be in the water or in the sun because of my chemo treatments. That’s okay. I imagine I’ll be busy resting and sleeping anyway. At least we will still be together as best as we can.

Chad, Ashley, me, and Tyler

Ashley & Me

Happy Mother's Day to My Hubby

Saturday May 12, 2012

Although it’s May and the focus is on mothers, my thoughts turn to my dear husband and his role in my life. He continues to amaze me with keeping up with our family, the house, his work, and everything else that Mr. Mom needs to do when ‘Mrs. Mom’ isn’t quite up to it all. He doesn’t complain, but just keeps checking on me to make sure I’m all right and that I have what I need. 

He prepped the boat for the first outing of the year on Utah Lake. He took the big kids boating with a couple of their friends. He helped Tyler buy a bed for his new married apartment and then get it moved in. He went shopping for groceries with Ashley and then he came home and helped make a yummy overnight French toast casserole for my Mother’s Day Breakfast request for tomorrow. He’s a wonderful man, my best friend, and I’m so grateful to have him in my life.

Happy Mother's Day to my sweet husband!

Best News of the Day!

Friday May 11, 2012

This morning I went in for my 3^rd round of chemo and found out about my recent chest CT Scan. Chad & Lincoln came with me for support. The doctor started out by walking in with a big smile and saying, “I’m so glad to see you. You are the first person today that I have good news to give to.” No doubt, WE were excited to hear what she had to say! She said that everything has shrunk considerably. The lymph nodes shrunk a ton and the tumor in my lung is down by about 20%. I am so grateful for that wonderful news. I know that prayers are being answered and I’m seeing miracles taking place in my life! 

I felt so good tonight that I was able to go to Lexy’s championship soccer game. I ran the time and subbing and cheered Lexy & her team on to winning first place in their league. I’m so grateful to be able to still share in these experiences with my family, despite my health challenge right now. Life is good and I’m grateful to be alive!

The Blue Angels won the championship AA finals game!

Sweet Peace

Thursday May 10, 2012

This morning two of my sisters-in-law drove down from Salt Lake to take me to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple with them. It meant a lot that they were willing to make that sacrifice of time and come share this morning together. It was so good to see them. We had a lovely time and afterwards we  had lunch at the temple cafeteria. Yum! Outside the temple, the gorgeous daffodils, crocuses, and pansies were blooming. I love going to the temple and the sweet peace it brings to me. I am humbled by the quiet peace that I feel inside.

Lisa, Kerry & Tammy at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple

CT Scan

Wednesday May 9, 2012

Yesterday, I had a CT scan of my chest at the hospital. It's been 6 weeks since I started chemo. It was pretty uneventful. Ashley went with me. I simply went in and had the scan with and without contrast through an iv. My doctor ordered the chest scan and then told me she'll let me know the results when I meet with her on Friday for my next treatment. I feel at peace that things are working. We will find out for sure in a few days. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and a prayer in my heart.

Lexy’s soccer team had another soccer play-off game tonight. It was the most intense game. They finally won the game in over-time! Lexy played the best I’ve ever seen her play. She really got in there and did an amazing job. She has improved so much the past two years. Her coach says that she is ‘by far the most improved player on the team!’ It’s been a great experience to be able to help coach her team and to come cheer her on and see her gain confidence as she’s learned how to plan the game and improve. I’m grateful that I feel well enough that I can still share in these moments with my daughter.

Happy Birthday, Lexy!

Sunday May 6, 2012

This morning marks 14 years since our little Lexy joined the family. Today she got dressed for church and borrowed one of my skirts and a top and Ashley helped fix her hair. Lexy looked so pretty. In Sacrament Meeting they announced that she would be moving on to the Mia Maid class. I can't quite believe that my baby is getting so old. She has grown up to be a delightful young lady who has a strong sense of testimony, a beautiful smile, and a twinkle in her eye. We are grateful that Lexy is a part of our family!

Ashley, Lincoln & Lexy

Look at those gorgeous BLUE eyes!

Two Pinewood Derbies

Saturday May 5, 2012

Today is Chad & Tyler’s 22^nd birthday! Twenty-two years ago today, I was in the hospital in premature labor and after a whirlwind c-section, the doctor smiled at me & Lincoln and simply said, “Two pinewood derbies!” Those 32 week old, premature little babies have grown into amazing young men. I’m grateful for their part in our family and for their influence in my life. To celebrate tonight, they decided they wanted to go out for Sushi. So, being the adventurous family that we are, we headed to the Happy Sumo. There we had a wonderful time laughing, being together, and trying interesting new sushi combinations! Happy Birthday boys!

Chad & Tyler at 3 months old

Such cute little boys!

A Special Phone Call

Monday April 30, 2012

This afternoon I received a phone call from one of the 6th grade teachers at the elementary school. It was one of the teachers that I had the chance to work with before my diagnosis. He explained that the 6^th graders are getting ready for their Global Awareness Fair for the month of May and they have decided to focus on world medical issues, including the topic of Cancer. He asked my permission to hold a “Penny War” between the different classes to see which class can raise the most money . . . and they’d like to do it in my honor. They want to make a presentation to me in an assembly at school at the end of May. I was overwhelmed by the kind gesture and kept telling myself, it’s not about me, it's not about me. So, I agreed. Wow. I don’t know what to say. It’s crazy. I guess I’m the poster child for ‘Under Dog.” If this experience helps the kids to put a 'face' on cancer and to better understand it in a more personal way, then I'm happy to be that face. I truly appreciate the outpouring of love from the school community. They are simply amazing!

This evening three sweet sisters from the Oak Canyon Singles Ward dropped by with more freezer meals for our family. They expressed their love and brought cards with cheerful messages from many of the ward members. It was wonderful! My life is so blessed.

Service & Skyping

Sunday April 29, 2012

This morning I felt pretty good. Lincoln & I were scheduled to meet with the singles ward bishopric and the extended council for our church calling. I was a bit uneasy to meet in such a confined area as the bishop’s office with 15+ people for two or more hours due to my low immune system. So, Lincoln came up with the awesome idea of Skyping me in to the meeting. He is such a techno geek! He quickly set up my computer with a web camera and ran off to the meeting with his laptop. There he Skyped (joined me in via the computer) me in on his laptop and showed my picture to everyone in the meeting. They all waved and it was a pretty neat set up. I was able to be a part of the discussions and hear about things going on in the ward. They announced the FHE activity for tomorrow night as a Service Night where they were going to put together 8 freezer meals for the Jacobs Family! I was overcome with emotion and gratitude for this sweet ward and their love and goodness toward our family. I started to cry and I could see the other ladies in the room wiping their eyes too. I am so very blessed. The meeting went well and at the end, the bishop asked if I would be willing to give the closing prayer. I was so happy to be able to do that! I'm grateful for a husband who can think outside the box to help me be as involved in life as I am able. I love having the opportunity to serve; to be able to give back in some small measure for all the wonderful service that our family is receiving right now. 

Service is an amazing thing. It takes you outside yourself and gives you an opportunity to focus on others. No matter what our situation in life, there will always be those who are struggling more than we are. As we serve, we gain gratitude for our blessings and compassion for others in their times of trial. 

The day was full and I was ready to sleep again tonight. I have so many blessings. I am so grateful to the Lord for his goodness in my life.

Temple Blessings

Thursday April 26, 2012

This morning I went to the temple with my friend. I was nervous because it’s the first time I’ve gone since I started wearing the wig. I decided to do initiatory work. They gave me my temple clothes to change into and I asked for a turban as well. I was so nervous wearing the turban and putting my wig in the locker. I just felt  . . . so  . . . different. I said a little prayer as I left the locker room. 

As I went to sit next to my friend, she gave me a big reassuring smile. I just needed that little bit of encouragement to feel all right with the new me. The promises of the initiatory ordinance was so beautiful. I was excited to be able to do work for two ladies from Ecuador. I couldn’t help, but think of Andrea serving in the orphanage right now. I was so glad I was able to attend the temple today to feel the sweet peace that comes from being in that sacred place.

Tonight, Lincoln & I attended a wedding reception and then went over to see the second half of Lexy’s soccer game. The girls won 6-0. It was very exciting! I love cheering for the team and being a part of it with Lexy.

Beautiful Yard

Wednesday April 25, 2012

The Yard Elves struck again! Our neighbors came by the house this morning and mowed, edged, and weeded our yard. It is absolutely beautiful. She said she needs the exercise and she’d rather get that helping our family than walking around the neighborhood. I was humbled by their sweet service.

A Surprise Visit

Tuesday April 24, 2012

A student from my 6th grade class, Capri, came by this evening with her mom and brought me flowers from the class and money that the class had earned at a school Bake Sale to help with medical expenses. I was overcome by emotion and gratitude that these kids still remember me and are still wishing me the best. What amazing students! After they left, I stood in the entry and just cried. Tyler came downstairs with tears streaming down his face and hugged me. We both cried at how many wonderful people there are in the world. We are humbled by the goodness of so many kind people. I'm grateful for their examples of service and that my children are seeing these kind, selfless acts on our family's behalf.

Sleepless night & Strawberries

Monday, April 23, 2012

Last night was very rough and I was up for much of it. I finally went back to bed at 8am this morning and slept until 9:30am when I woke up feeling much better. My headaches have been intense.I spoke with my patient care advocate and she told me that I can take some Tylenol just before I take my anti-nausea medication and that will ward off the headaches! Wohoo! I am so ready for that relief. I spent most of the day resting and sleeping. What a lazy day!

Someone doorbell ditched us and left 2 containers of fresh strawberries on our front door. I was craving strawberries and there they were. So many kind people. So many random acts of service on our behalf. So grateful for the neighborhood in which I live. Such a humbling point in my life.

Feeling Slow

Sunday April 22, 2012

This morning I was able to work on my Stake YSA calling for an hour and a half to get info ready for Lincoln to take to the Singles Ward meeting. As I got ready to go to sacrament meeting with Tyler, Andrea, and Lexy, I was feeling pretty shaky, but I still wanted to go to church. Linc was able to come home and attend with us. I was so thankful to be there and to partake of the sacrament. Halfway through the meeting, I was feeling really tired and having a big of a challenge staying on the chair. It’s funny, but we were on the hard metal chairs and I could just envision myself sliding right off the chair and onto the floor. Haha I didn’t want that to happen, so I held on to Lincoln’s arm for support.

Later at home, I spent most of the day just lying on the bed and dozing on and off. The biggest problem this round of chemo is the extreme tiredness and my pounding headache. I also fevered a bit, but not so much that I had to go to the ER. Tyler and Andrea pitched in and made me dinner and everyone waited on me hand and foot. I have the best family. We had a family prayer tonight and I said good-bye to Andrea since Tyler is taking her to the airport early tomorrow morning to fly out to Ecuador.

Soccer Game & Feeling Good

Saturday April 21, 2012

This morning, I still felt good and wanted to go to Lexy’s soccer game. Lincoln, Lexy & I went and enjoyed seeing the girls play. Linc was awesome bringing a big pop-up canopy to keep me out of the sun. He's so protective and thoughtful. I was able to run the subbing of the players and cheer Lexy on. It felt so good to be out in the beautiful fresh air and supporting the team on. I am grateful for these days, moments, when I feel good and am so grateful for my life.

This evening Tyler & Andrea moved their things out of their college apartments and in to our home. It’s crazy to think that these two will be married in two short months. By tonight, I'm starting to wind down and get pretty tired. It’s been a great day.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Thursday April 19, 2012 

I sat down at my computer this morning to find this touching letter from my 13 year old daughter. I am amazed at her maturity of spirit:

I love you mom! You are the best creature on this entire planet!! I hope that I'm making a difference from who I was to who I am. I'm trying hard to help you and I hope that you know that I love you. If there is anything that you want me to do for you just ask or even just text me. I'll always get around to help you be amazing. If there is one thing that I am glad about for this experience, it's the chance to be more like you. It's also more than just your life in God's capable hands, each of our lives are in his hands and he can do anything to us at any time. One thing may just be curing your cancer with an unusual speed. He can do anything and will do anything to help us. I know that he loves you and me with more love than anyone can imagine, and I have felt it towards me and I know he feels at least the same amount of love to you as well. I know that through this experience you will grow stronger and help others to grow stronger too. I love you and know that we will get rid of this cancer. I know that you will live a long life and that you'll even be able to help me raise my future children. You will be the greatest grandmother in the history of the world. It always seems that when parents become grandparents, they become even nicer and even better. I know that it may seem impossible, but I know you will be, and that you'll be able to help all of us kids. Thanks for being there for me for my whole entire life, even before I was born. I love you Mom. You are truly the greatest.

-love your loving daughter, Lexy

Wow!

I had my 2^nd chemo appt today. My sister in law, Jenny, came to take me. Things went really well. We met with the oncologist first and asked her a list of questions. She scheduled me for a chest CT scan on May 8^th to see how the cancer is responding to the treatments. Then my third chemo apt will be on May 11^th. That will be my half way mark. I told her that I’m feeling pretty darn good. She was encouraged by my ability to endure the treatments so far. I asked about summer plans, boating, water, etc. She told me that I can’t be in the sun because I’ll burn too easily due to my skin cells turning over so quickly. I was also told not to be in the water if we want to do Sand Hollow. No water, no sun, that doesn’t make boating sound like much fun. We’ll have to figure something to do as a family this summer. The nurses were able to access my port to administer the drugs without any problems at all. Yay! While the medication was being administered, I worked on my list of people for the wedding invitations. Jenny & I visited and it really was a pleasant day. 

There was a woman in the clinic that was getting her treatment for breast cancer. She was cute and happy and had the funniest t-shirt on. She explained that she never thought she’d be getting a ‘boob job’ at age 60. Then she showed us the shirt. It simply said, “YES, they are fake! The real ones were trying to kill me.” I laughed and laughed. A positive attitude and a sense of humor really do make all the difference in getting through difficult things in life.

Me & my cute sister-in-law!

Pulling Weeds & Saying Prayers

Monday April 16, 2012

My brother flew back to Seattle today. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. He's an amazing person. As Lincoln & I returned from the airport and came inside, Lincoln pointed out that one of my neighbors was out front pulling weeds in my yard. Lincoln said, “You’d better go tell her to stop that.” 

I smiled and went out to tell her we are all right. She told me that with every weed she pulls, she says a prayer,  "Heavenly Father please make my friend well. " We both cried and I gave her a big hug.  

I thank my Heavenly Father every single day for the tremendous blessings that I have in my life. 

Spiritual Renewal

Sunday April 15, 2012

This morning I got ready for church and wore my new short wig. Chris went with me, Lincoln & Lexy. It was so good to be at church again. The topic for the sacrament talks was ‘Spiritual Renewal.’ I was so touched by the talks and spirit that was there. After sacrament meeting many people came up to extend their love and support and to tell me how much they like my new hairdo. Most of them didn’t realize that I had shaved my head and that this was a wig. I have the best people in my ward. Going to church today was truly a spiritual renewal for me. Partaking of the sacrament and renewing my covenants with the Lord is such a gift. Talking with so many good people lifted me more than I can explain. I continue to feel the power of prayer in my life and the Lord’s tender mercies on my behalf. I am so very blessed.

I loved introducing my brother to all of these amazing people and telling them that Chris shaved his head for me. We stayed for Sunday School as well and it felt good to be there and to feel the spirit in class. I was worn out after the 2 hours and Chris & I came home.

Tonight Tyler & Andrea joined us for dinner. My nephew Alex and his girlfriend came too. We ate and played games. I love being with my family. I love having my house full of the people I love and sharing in the smiles and laughter that come from being together. Later tonight, we skyped with my Dad, my brother’s wife Connie, and the rest of us. We continued to look through old pictures and slides together and had fun reminiscing about good old days when we were much younger and living in California. 

Chris & Lisa

Best Brother Ever!

Saturday April 14, 2012

This morning Lincoln went to the airport to pick up my brother, Chris, who flew in from Seattle for the weekend. I was excited to see him. Lincoln called to say they were about 20 minutes from home. After 30 minutes, I wondered what was going on. Finally, fifteen minutes later they came into the house. I ran upstairs to ask they what took so long. At first glance, I saw my brother smiling at me and then on second glance I SAW my brother and realized that he had shaved his head for me. I hugged him with all my might and cried like a baby at such a sweet gesture. He also cried as we hugged each other. I have THE best brother in the world. He and Lincoln had stopped on the way home from the airport for the “special haircut.” He had emailed our family that he 'I arrived safely in Lindon, but my hair got lost at baggage claim!" I took off my wig and I had Lincoln take pictures of the two of us. We emailed the photos to our parents and Chris’ wife. In case they couldn’t tell who was who, I pointed out that I was the one wearing the earrings. Haha 

Chris also surprised me by telling me that his family had changed their summer European Trip by one extra day so that their family can fly out for about 40 hours to be here to share in Tyler & Andrea’s wedding with us. He made me cry again as I realize what a sacrifice of time and finances that will be for his family, but we will all be together and I am so grateful for that!

He also brought 2 big boxes with him. One has about 1000 slides of photos from the Kimmell Family past and another box full of photographs. We are going to spend part of this weekend, scanning the photographs and trying to reproduce the slides so  that our entire family can have access to all these wonderful memories. I am so grateful for family and their undeniable blessing in my life!

My brother Chris & Me 

(I'm the one with earrings!)

Hand-stitched Quilt & Dinner Date

Thursday, April 12, 2012

This morning I woke up and had the strange feeling of ‘Oh ya, I don’t have any hair!” It was weird. I’m still getting used to looking in the bathroom mirror and seeing a bald version of myself look back. I spent most of the day just wearing a baseball cap. I didn’t feel as cold and I felt comfortable around the house wearing it.

This afternoon I had several visitors drop by and I put my short wig on for those visits. The amazing lady who was my Troop Guide at Wood Badge last May, Kaylene, dropped by and brought me an incredibly beautiful hand stitched quilt. I was so touched by her labor of love to make that for me. It is in bright springy colors and has owls throughout the quilt. She also had two special messages sewed on it. One is, “I used to be an owl . . .” which is part of the Wood Badge Song. The other is, “We love you, Lisa.” I’m so grateful for her example and friendship in my life. She really has a quiet strength about her.

This evening, two of Lincoln’s sisters and their spouses and his brother came by to take us out to dinner. We had so much fun. They said they loved my wig and that made me feel good. They asked a lot of questions about my diagnosis and treatment plan. I can tell they just want to understand what’s going on with me. Talking with all of them was so easy and comfortable and I loved the chance to have fun and laugh! One of my brothers-in-law told me that he decided to call the temple to put my name on it and realized the temple was closed. Then he had the thought that in Hawaii the temple was still open and so he called the Laie, Hawaii Temple and put my name on that one. What a sweet gesture! Another person said they were having a family prayer and that when they young son asked for Heavenly Father to bless me, he said, “Please bless Aunt Lisa to get better really fast!” I love the faith of children. It made me smile!

Day 17

Wednesday April 11, 2012

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about losing my hair and feeling a bit overwhelmed by this drastic change that’s about to take place. This morning Lincoln woke up early and was on the computer. I came downstairs to see what he was up to and there I found him looking at a website called “Bald Is Beautiful.” He also had some youtube clips of women who were experiencing various kinds of cancer and were shaving their heads as part of the process. I sat on his lap and watched a few of the video clips. I cried as I watched one video in particular. My heart went out to this lady because I knew exactly how she was feeling. As her hair fell to the floor, I noticed that her smile and her eyes never changed. They were beautiful and they sparkled. I saw her as a woman of courage, of strength, and I admired her.

I told Lincoln that I would decide by tonight what I wanted to do. As the day wore on, more and more of my hair was falling out. I told my daughter that I needed to shave it off tonight. We ran some errands together and stopped by the wig store to pick up a cute short wig. I asked my friend, Haley, if she’d come by the house and cut off the rest of my hair. She agreed. I then found a great motivating song that I wanted to play during the ‘shearing’ process.  It's called, 'Stronger' by Kelly Clarkston. After dinner, Tyler and Andrea showed up at the house. Lexy had texted them what was going to happen tonight and they came to support me. She had also texted a few of her close friends and simply said, "Please pray for my Mom tonight, she's cutting off her hair." What a sweet girl. Tyler even offered to shave his head too. Andrea gave him a big hug and said what a great idea that was, but could we please wait until after the wedding. I agreed! haha

Haley & Me Before

At 8:30pm, my friend, Haley, came over and we started the process. Lexy played my music, Lincoln video taped the experience, and Andrea & Tyler cheered me on. We laughed and joked and shared a few tears, but not too many. During the entire process, Lincoln kept telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. That meant a lot. I didn’t have a mirror to look at, but I could see the small, dark curls from my head rolling off my shoulders to the floor. When it was all done, I took pictures with my new GI Jane haircut. Tyler was so tender and told me how much he loved me and how pretty I looked.

Tyler & me with during the process

I was sad to see my hair go, but I also recognize that this is part of the process of getting better. I needed to cut my hair off before it can begin to grown back. I’m moving forward in faith. I feel a sense of control deciding when and how I’d get rid of my hair. I hugged Haley and told her how much I loved her. I know that it wasn’t easy for her to do and yet she was willing to be here for me and to do it in the privacy of my own home. She’s much younger than me, but she’s such a strength in my life and a dear friend.

Andrea, Tyler, me, Lincoln & Lexy

Ticket to Ride

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

This evening Lincoln came home from work and his friend brought his Corvette over to the house. We had the top down and the temperature was about 75 degrees. It was a beautiful evening. We drove up Provo Canyon and I loved having my hair blow in the breeze and see the majestic mountains all around me. We stopped at Vivian Park and talked for a while. It was 25 years ago, in May, that Lincoln & I got engaged at Vivian Park. We talked about our life together and how blessed we are to have each other and to have our family. It was fun  to remember that special day so many years ago. I am grateful for that car ride this evening, for a loving husband and for the warmth of the sunshine. It’s been another great day!

Getting ready to ride like the wind!

Nothin' but the wind blowing through my hair!

Body Betrayal

Monday April 9, 2012

This morning is Day 16 from my first chemo treatment and the doctors told me I’d lose my hair by Day 17. I have been hoping against all the odds, that I wouldn’t have to go through it, but this morning as I showered, my hair betrayed me and I realized that I will lose my hair. As I got ready for the day and was drying my hair and putting my make up on. Tears kept running down my face. It was so dumb that I was crying. I wasn’t even really sure why. It’s just hair. I know it will grow back when I get done with my treatments. It doesn’t hurt when it falls out, but I guess I’m mourning the loss of my hair and recognizing that this cancer experience is actually happening and that it is changing who I am, at least on the outside.

I took care of a lot of wedding plans today at home and ran a few errands. I felt good and productive. Tonight, Lincoln’s good friend texted him and asked if we’d like to borrow his gorgeous convertible corvette to go for a ride and let the wind blow through my hair while I could still enjoy that experience. I was so touched by that sweet gesture. What amazing, sensitive friends we are blessed with!

Easter Sunday

Sunday April 8, 2012

This morning was a gorgeous Easter morning. I was so grateful to feel well and excited to attend church today. I loved seeing all the little girls in their pretty new Easter dresses. It reminded me of when my girls were that little and getting dressed up for Easter Sunday was such a treat.

I was also excited to partake of the sacrament. Being able to take the sacrament and renew my covenants has a new, deeper meaning to me. It shouldn’t be any more important today than it was before I was diagnosed with cancer, but it does. I believe everything is more precious to me than it was before. My life and my relationships with my family and other people are more cherished to me than they were before this change in my life. I guess that’s why they call these kinds of life altering experiences as “wake up calls.” 

Lexy & Ashley - Easter Morning

Mother & Daughters

Sweethearts

Rocky Mountain Love

Friday, April 6, 2012

This morning was a snowy, windy, blustery spring day. Today, my friend, Debbie, dropped by to talk about wedding plans. She simply told me what she'd do to help organize and make the wedding happen in June. I cried tears of gratitude as she so cheerfully and enthusiastically explained how it wouldn't be work, but fun planning the wedding! I told her she was an answer to my prayers and then she teared up and told me that she'd asked Heavenly Father what she could do to help me in this situation and that being able to help me with the wedding was the answer to HER prayers.

Lisa & Debbie talking about wedding plans!

After school, my friend Camiel dropped by and brought me the most amazing gifts from the school. The teachers & staff had gotten together and gone in on a gorgeously soft Minky blanket to help me keep warm during my chemo treatments. They also got me a Kindle Fire so that I can read books when I'm too tired to do anything else. Camiel also brought and ENORMOUS bag full of hundreds of Get Well cards from the students at the school. I am so humbled by this outpouring of love and support. I giggled and cried as I read the students messages of encouragement. "You can beat this thing, Mrs. Jacobs." "You are a fighter, Mrs. Jacobs! Don't give up!" I also never realized how many different ways you could spell the word 'substitute.' One of the funny ones was: supstatoot. Children make me smile. I miss the kids. I miss the teachers. I miss teaching. Rocky Mountain Elementary School is such a big part of who I am. I'm grateful for their love and  support.

Camiel sharing gifts from Rocky Mountain Elementary School with Me

Blessings Beyond Compare

Thursday April 5, 2012

I woke again to a beautiful spring day and I am so happy to feel well. Today has been no different from the past 2 weeks as far as amazing blessings happening in my life.

Today’s blessings

I was able to go with my cute” daughter-in-law-to be” to meet with the cake decorator. She was able to pick out a beautiful cake. Later, we had a little brunch at home and discussed further details of the wedding. I feel blessed to have this amazing young woman become a permanent part of our family!

Later, there was a knock at the door and when I opened it there were four of the most amazing ladies that I worked with during Stake Girls Camp the last two years. They had a huge bouquet of gorgeous flowers for me. We hugged and visited, and laughed and cried together. It was such a sweet spirit and I am so grateful for their example and friendship in my life. They expressed their love and their prayers for me. I am so grateful that they came by.

Another sweet friend of mine, dropped by just to give me a hug and bring me a beautiful bouquet of daffodils. I haven’t seen her in a while and I was touched that she made the effort to come see me.

Later as we ate dinner, I saw that I had received a letter in the mail from my 12 year old niece, Anna, from Seattle. I was excited to see a beautiful letter from her 7^th grade class and a beautiful drawing of an angel that they had made for me. The letter explained that her class sends an ‘angel’ to people they know are in need of a heavenly hug from a difficult trial. Anna, my niece, had told them about my diagnosis with lung cancer and they decided to create an angel for me. They have added my name to their angel prayer list and every day when they light a candle, they will pray for me as well. I was overcome with emotion and had a very difficult time holding back the tears. When I hear about children praying for me, I am overwhelmed by the spirit that touches my heart. It is amazing! I called her to thank her for that sweet act of service and to tell her how much I love her.

Then there was a knock at the door and I saw four little girls of my ward's Activity Days group. these girls are between 10 & 11 years old. They attend rocky Mountain where I worked. They are between the ages of 10 and 11 years old. They were standing in the doorway with giant smiles, holding a huge neon pink poster that said, “Sister Jacobs, We love you! Spring has sprung with bunches of flowers!” Their leader, Sharon, had taken the girls to the local greenhouse and they had spent the last hour and a half potting a gorgeous flower pot with beautiful flowers. Their leader is keeping the flower pot at her home until the weather is warmer and they will bring it to me on Mother’s Day. The girls were so excited to deliver this poster and I was so excited to receive it. What wonderful people there are in this world and so many are my dear friends.

Activity Day Girls delivering flowers to my home!

Tonight, I received a text from another friend who wanted to drop by to give me something. She told me how she had been thinking of me through General Conference Weekend as she listened to the talks from our dear prophet and the apostles. One talk, in particular, touched her heart. It was the talk by Elder Henry B. Eyring entitled, “Mountains to Climb.” In the talk, Elder Eyring explains that if we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing. She had a little tile made that says, “Give me this mountain. Joshua 14:12.” I have THE most amazing friends. They lift me, inspire me and sustain me.

I also received a tender email from my Bishop who shared his concern for me as well as his desire to support our family in any way he can. He bore his testimony of the Lord sustaining us during difficult times in our lives.

Once again, as I knelt in prayer, I thanked my Heavenly Father for the tremendous blessings that I have in my life. I know that this cancer journey will get more difficult as time goes on, but despite that, I feel so loved and I feel so much strength from my Heavenly Father and for His ministering angels who live here upon the earth that are all around me. 

Carie, Tiana, Lisa & Doni - Beautiful Women

Carie, Tiana, Lisa & Lynn

Carie, Tiana, Lisa & 

The Strength of our Youth

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I am feeling stronger each day. My only symptoms are a slight cough, a sexy “Marilyn Monroe” voice and a limited amount of energy. Other than that I feel amazing.  I have been trying to catch up on my journal about this journey on the road to recovery and as such I’ve spent a great deal of time on my computer. This afternoon, I noticed an email from the bishop of the Oak Canyon Singles Ward. Lincoln and I have a Stake calling and we work a lot with the young single adult age people between 18 and 31 years old. I wanted to make sure that I was not released from my calling just because of my diagnosis. I love working with these young people and feeling of their goodness and strength. I had sent an email to that bishop letting him know that I was still planning on working with his ward and doing my best to be involved, even if it means communicating via email from time to time.

He responded to that email today. In part he said:

Dear Sister Jacobs,

We love you so much! Thank you for updating me and for your desire to continue to serve. I know what you face is scary and daunting but I also know from recent personal experience that God hears and answers prayers. Only He is wise enough to know what answer is best for each of us eternally. I'm sure you realize that you have SO many people praying for you. Your name is on the altars of so many temples. Your name was the first one invoked in ward prayer at the ward prayer on Sunday night, as an overflowing room of our Oak Canyon members knelt and petitioned the Lord on your behalf. The Spirit was so strong. Our personal and combined prayers will continue with you. Always remember, God is in the details. Love, Bishop

A wave of emotion swept over me and I thanked my Heavenly Father again for the faithfulness and love of these amazing young single adults. How grateful I am for my association with them and for their example.

I love the Lord. I know he is mindful of me and my family and I know that all will be well.

Love & Support

Tuesday April 3, 2012

This morning I received an email from a dear lady who is a fellow missionary from my mission to Argentina, from many years ago. She had recently found out about my diagnosis and asked if it would be all right to let the other missionaries from the Buenos Aires South Mission know about it as well. I plan on beating this cancer and I figure that the more prayers are being said on my behalf, the more the Lord will hear our requests and sustain me through this experience.

It was shortly after that email when I received an email from a former missionary who lives in Florida. He wished me well and expressed that he, his wife, and each of his six children (and named them all by name) would be adding me to their family prayers to ask the Lord to invoke a healing blessing in my life. I was very touched.

Tonight, we had another neighbor drop by with a frozen dinner for us to use as needed in the coming weeks. We visited for a while and then she asked what she can do to help as we prepare for Tyler’s upcoming wedding. I was overcome with gratitude. I'll talk with her later in the week and we’ll share ideas. While I’m feeling relatively good, I need to pace myself and try to do what I can to eat this wedding ‘elephant’ one bite at a time. J So many wonderful blessings, every single day!

Bone Scan - Check

Monday, April 2, 2012

Today I had the treat of going to my bone scan appointment at the hospital with my dear friend and visiting teacher, Tracy. Tracy is such a light to be around. She is one of those people who just looks for opportunities to serve her fellow man every single day.  Well today, we went over to the hospital to get my radioactive injection in preparation for the scan later this afternoon. In the past three weeks that I’ve been going to doctors’ offices and hospital appointments, I have never seen so many sick, coughing, ill people as I did today getting registered for my bone scan. It was a little overwhelming. I knew I needed to be there and I also recognized that I’m not supposed to be around sick people. Tracy offered to stand in line so I wouldn’t get too worn out waiting for my turn to get registered at the desk. Then a sick lady with a blanket wrapped around her, approached me and wanted to sit in the chair next to me. Tracy quickly walked over and moved her things so I could sit one chair further away from the sick lady. I tried not to breathe too deeply. Haha  finally they got me registered and off we went to get my injection. It was a piece of cake and soon I was back home taking a nap getting ready for the afternoon scan.

The bone scan took one hour to complete. I was lying on the skinniest little bench and the technician strapped my arms and body to the little bench so I wouldn’t fall off. I asked him how larger people ever fit on the tiny bench and he smiled, “They just hang off both sides.” Okay then. I was happy I wasn’t hanging off. The machine passed very slowly over my body multiple times and took pictures from many different angles. My job was to be perfectly still during the entire process. Friendly, Tracy visited with the technician and I listened to them talk. It helped pass the time. When I got ready to leave I was given a piece of paper that indicated that I was radioactive for the next ‘x’ amount of time and if I were to go through security at the airport, I might actually set off the security scanners. How exciting would that be! Alas, I’m don't think I'll be not going anywhere exotic for a while, but it’s still a fun piece of paper to keep in my scrapbook of treasures. 

Spring Time Renewal

Sunday April 1, 2012

I love Spring Time! The trees in our front yard are in bloom. One is covered in pretty pink clusters and another is bursting with fluffy white blooms. The grass is starting to green up from the long winter frost and I am reminded of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am amazed at the rebirth of the earth during this season and the promise of the resurrection of our Savior as a renewal of life. It’s a time of hope and peace.

I was so excited to wake up for General Conference this morning. We received a call from our home teacher who said he was coming over with some Chunky Cinnamon French Toast Casserole. It was the most amazing French toast, magic syrup, and fresh strawberries! I cried and then explained to him that last night I had asked Lincoln to buy more strawberries because I'd been craving them and they are easy to swallow. He'd gone to the store, but they were completely sold out. Then this morning, my home teacher and his sweet wife show up with a hot breakfast AND fresh strawberries. What a tender mercy! The Lord knew those were important to me and my friend was in tune to get them for me.

Between Conference sessions, we had a delicious casserole that a wonderful friend from Rocky Mountain Elementary School made for us. It was awesome! I also had a friend drop by. As she entered our house, she hugged me so tight and she cried and cried. We sat down and we talked a while. I told her I was fine and being blessed to feel really good so far. We talked and laughed and in the end, I think she felt much better about how I was doing. I think that when most people hear about my diagnosis, they tend to think the absolute worse-case situation, until they have a chance to talk with me. Then they realize that I truly am being sustained and blessed to be doing well. I feel a strengthening power in my life.

This evening I received a tender email from my mission president’s wife from Argentina. I was touched that she remembers me and that she took the time to express her love and concern that I be sustained in this fight against the cancer and to overcome it.

I am forever grateful for the opportunity that I had some 30 years ago to leave everything and serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I will never forget the life lessons I learned as I shared my testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ with the amazing people of Argentina. It was there that I learned that I could do hard things with the Lord at my side. It was there that I formed friendships that would cross continents. It is now that I will remember those precious lessons that I learned and use them on this new kind of ‘mission’ as I walk the road of recovery from cancer. I know I can rely on my Savior’s love to sustain and lift me in trying times. I am truly blessed. 

'New Do'

Saturday March 31, 2012

Today was a wonderful day of General Conference! Ashley, Lexy, Lincoln and I enjoyed listening to the leaders of the church in the comfort of our own home. The spirit has been so strong. Tyler and Andrea joined us and it wonderful to spend the morning and afternoon session together. I was particularly touched by the talk given by Elder Henry B. Eyring called, “Mountains to Climb.” In the talk, Elder Eyring explains that if we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing. It whispered peace to my soul and gave me strength.

During the break between Conference sessions, we had visitors. There was a beloved member of our former Stake Presidency and his sweet wife. They brought a treat and a message of love, peace, and support. They are both now working at the Missionary Training Center in Provo with the missionaries. They both exude such a sincere light, love and happiness in their countenances. They gave me a picture of the Savior standing on a large rock, holding a child and lifting another from a raging river. The title is “Be thou not afraid.” The Savior is our rock and foundation. As the raging difficulties of life swirl around us, we can reach out to the Savior to lift, calm and comfort us. I am grateful for my testimony.

Another sweet friend stopped by and brought me a new book called, ‘Heaven is Here.” It is by author Stephanie Nielsen and I LOVE HER! She is a woman who was burned over 90% of her body in a plane crash, but she continues to find joy in living day by day turning to God for strength and inspiration as she raises her four children and focuses on the eternal perspective of things. My friend, Camiel, and I had been to a meeting where Stephanie Nielsen had spoken to the young women in our ward. We were both touched by her courage and optimism despite her trying circumstances. Stephanie was doing a book signing at the local book store and my friend decided to stand in the long line and have Stephanie sign the book for me.  She said, “My friend was just diagnosed with lung cancer. This book is for her.” Stephanie wrote in my book, “Lisa, keep going! All my best, Stephanie Nielsen.” So grateful!

This evening, I had called a cute friend of mine to have her come cut my hair. The doctor told me that I will definitely lose my hear. I have been concerned about my daughters realizing that even though the outside of their mom may be changing, I will always be the same me on the inside. My friend, Haley, came by our home with her mom and agreed to cut my hair. As we got started, Hailey had forgotten something and asked me if I had a spray bottle to use. I ran upstairs to grab the spray bottle and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath and suddenly I felt an over whelming wave of emotion as I realized that as I go and cut my hair, I’m admitting that I really am sick. I really do have cancer and that my life is going to change. I knelt in humble prayer and ask Heavenly Father to bless me with the courage to cut my hair and to have fun with it and make it a comfortable situation for my children. I know it sounds silly, but it was so heartfelt. I felt the Lord strengthen me and I took a deep breath and went back down stairs. Hailey did such a great job of cutting my hair. We took a lot of pictures as she was doing it. When she was done, everyone in the room told me how much they LOVED it and that I looked 5 years younger. I don’t know about the age difference, but I love how it looks! It is so cute and easy to take care of it. I’m so glad she was willing to do it. She wouldn’t even let me pay her. It was a true labor of love. I have the best friends in the whole wide world!

My hair before Haley cut it.

Me with my cute 'New Do' and daughters, Lexy & Ashley. 

Upgraded to Stage 3!!

Friday March 30, 2012

I had a followup appointment with the surgeon who implanted my port last week. Jeannee came again and took me. The doctor said that everything looks great, except the cancer. He still asked me more questions about my lifestyle trying to understand how I could have gotten lung cancer. It just doesn’t make sense. I guess it doesn’t really matter how I got it. I have it and now my job is to be positive and do everything in my power to take care of myself and trust in the Lord so that I can get rid of this invasion of my body.

Lincoln was home in time to take me to the follow up appointment with the oncologist this afternoon. We counted it as our Friday date night. Hahah The doctor took my blood and ran the regular tests. She says I look great and not to worry too much. She told us the awesome news that the PET Scan came back negative for any other signs of cancer. Wohoo! I was so happy. She also mentioned that after looking at my chart and my reports that she’s decided that I am more of a Stage 3 Lung Cancer patient! Wohoo again! What a great day! 

Some may think that the doctor just changed her mind about my state of cancer; I know that God is in the details and I recognize His hand in this incredible journey. I am so grateful for Him who knoweth all things and sustains me each and every day!

First Unexpected Trip to the ER

Thursday March 29, 2012

During the night and most of the day today, I have been feverishness. With chemo, if you have a fever of 100.5, it’s considered to be an emergency. This afternoon when I reached 100.3, I decided to call the clinic and see what to do. It was closed and the after-hours office told me I needed to get to the nearest Emergency Room to be evaluated. Lincoln was still at work, but Jeannee came right over and she drove me to the hospital. She sat with me until Lincoln arrived. We spent about 3 hours having my blood drawn, a chest x-ray done, and I received an IV bag of antibiotics just for good measure. They said everything looks good except for the cancer and the fact that I had a fever. When it was all done, we took the report of their tests and they told me to check in with the doctor tomorrow.

The nurse that helped me was  a young man, probably in his 20’s. As we spoke, he mentioned that he had been undergoing chemo therapy for some kind of large tumor in his chest. They had opened him up, removed 2 ribs and the tumor. He followed up with chemo/radiation therapy. Tonight was his first night back at work in a few months. He looked so healthy and young and strong. It was hard to imagine that he had cancer. I realize that cancer is not picky about who gets it. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, color, or lifestyle. I wished him all the best and he expressed the same sentiments to me. I don’t like cancer, at all.

Feeling the love!

Tuesday March 27, 2012 – PET Scan

This morning I felt pretty good. Lincoln was worried about going back to work, and being able to be at home with me. I told him I’d be with Jeannee, my friend and Relief Society President, most of the day. She took me in for a PET Scan. This test scanned my body for an hour in great detail to determine if I have any other cancer in my body, other than what we already know about in my left lung. The results will be sent to my doctor by tomorrow. Hopefully they won’t’ find anything else. When I came home, I was tired and took a nap. This evening Jeannee brought our family dinner and several friends dropped by to see how I was doing and lend their support. I loved seeing them, but was ready to sleep when the visiting was over.

Wednesday March 28, 2012

I am feeling good today. It’s like I am just a slower version of myself. The doctor said that I was going to be her most difficult patient. When I asked why, she explained that I am relatively young, active, in good shape, and healthy, well except for the cancer. I thought those were good traits. She continued to explain that most of her patients have already had to slow down their lifestyle due to other health issues such as age, diabetes, hip surgery, etc. It will be a big adjustment for me to recognize that my number one job right now IS TO GET BETTER! I am trying hard to be a good patient so that the meds and the Lord’s hand can help me recover from this situation. I called my friend Wendy, who survived colon cancer, and asked her how I will know when the hard days are coming. The nurses indicated that day 3 and 4 after chemo tend to be patient’s most difficult days. Today is Day 3. I explained that I’m walking around the house in my pajamas taking it easy and I feel like “I’m waiting for an arm or a leg to fall off!” She just laughed at me and then said that it will be subtle, but I may be walking up the stairs and I may have to stop half way up to catch my breath. It was good to talk to her and feel her reassuring voice of experience. They also have me drinking at least 2-3 quarts of liquid a day to help flush my system, keep me hydrated and to allow the medicines to do their job.

I have been overwhelmed by the tsunami of love and support our family is receiving from our neighbors, our ward, the people from Rocky Mountain Elementary School, and from our family and friends across the US.

This afternoon I received a text from a friend at the school that said Lincoln needed to drive me by the school. As we drove past the marquee, I could see that on both sides of the sign was the message: Mrs. Jacobs We love you! I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe they would do that for me. The love and support is overwhelming, but so appreciated. I had Lincoln take pictures so I can save that forever! We also had another friend drop by unexpectedly tonight with an incredible dinner. It was amazing! So many tender mercies! I am so lucky!

I love people at this school!

Strong Courage Take

Monday March 26, 2012

This morning I went to meet with the oncologist for the first time. Lincoln and Kathy came with me. We had a prayer prior to leaving that we’d understand all the information we’d be given and what the future treatments would be like. Kathy’s job was going to be to take notes of what the doctor was telling us and to remember our list of questions. Lincoln was to take it all in and be a strong moral support to me. My job was simply to internalize what was being said and to be brave. Haha I wanted to be strong for this.

We arrived at 9am. We spoke with the doctor for 45 min. and I really like her. She was straight forward with me about possible side effects and what expect from the chemo treatments. I also felt like she was not just treating the cancer, but she was treating me as a person too. I was told I’d need to stop substitute teaching for at least six months. Too many germs in an elementary school. haha She also told me that I can continue to help coach Lexy’s competitive soccer team on the days that I feel good, but I need to do it from the from the side lines and not actually scrimmage with the girls. I was disappointed, but agreed. I mentioned the upcoming wedding and she wanted to know the exact date. I told her June 23^rd and she marked it in my records. She is going to do her best to work with my treatment schedule so that I’m having a good day for the wedding. I told her that is one important date that I don't want to miss. I want to be in the temple to see Tyler & Andrea be sealed.

She said that I have stage 4 lung cancer. I have a round of chemo once every 3 weeks. After 6 weeks, they will do a CT Scan of my chest and evaluate how the meds are fighting the cancer. If it looks good, we move forward, if not, then she'll adjust my medications. The doctor anticipates that I’ll do 6 rounds of chemo which is 18 weeks or about 6 months. Wow! Now I know what time frame to wrap my head around.

After all the talking, the nurse came in to access my newly implanted ‘port’ in my chest. It was extremely swollen and bruised from the surgery just 3 days ago. As the nurse came to access my port, I was a nervous about painful the process might be. Lincoln moved so the nurse could get close to me. Kathy held my hand on the other side. They did have difficulty accessing because it was so swollen and the nurse kept pushing harder and hard without any success. She asked the doctor to help and the doctor said that they may have to lay me on the exam table so they could push hard enough to get it. I asked them to wait a moment so that I could brace myself again the back of the chair I was sitting in. I told them to try again. This time I closed my eyes and a children’s Primary song came into my mind. Then I said a little prayer and asked Heavenly Father to take me by the hand and to allow all the fasting and prayers on my behalf to give me the strength to endure this moment. I felt a sweet peace wash over me and I knew I was not alone. It was then that the nurse said, we’ve got it! They said they were amazed that I didn’t hit them or yell out. Kathy said that I'm the bravest person she knows. I was just glad it was over. I recognized in that moment that prayer is a tangible power that can be tapped into in time of need to sustain us in life’s challenges. I was so grateful for that tender mercy. 

Once the port was in, I walked to the sitting area where there were 7 or 8 Lazy Boy recliners in a big half circle. There were 4 other people sitting in chairs with IV trees hooked up to them waiting for their medicine to drip into their bodies. I got started and Lincoln and Kathy took turns sitting next to me. They told us it would take 5 hours for the medicine to be administered because it was my first time. Next time it should take 3 1/2 - 4 hours and after that maybe 3 –3 ½ . Lincoln bought back lunch for us. I saw many people come and go during my 5 hour stay there. All the nurses and staff were extremely nice to me. The entire medicine aspect was not bad, just long. It was a strange experience. It felt like being in a 'toxic bar.' Each person told the nurses what they were in for and the then nurses would be them their own personal 'toxic cocktail.' The others were all in for lung cancer as well.

It was about 5pm by the time we finished up there. The doctor told me that I will lose my hair and so I really wanted to go wig shopping while my sister was still in town. I want to enjoy or have fun with this journery as much as I can. So we took our camera to the wig shop and I tried on all kinds of wigs in all styles & colors. They put a big nylon on my head to flatten all my curls and so the wigs would fit. It seemed like a big PED for head. You know, like the PEDS you put on your feet when you are trying on new shoes. Lincoln told me that I’ll be beautiful when I’m bald. Hahah He’s such a good husband. I know he really loves me. We finally settled on a very pretty one that I think will be nice for the wedding. I was so glad Kathy was there too!

We finished up getting all the prescriptions and got home around 7pm. Kathy then packed up her suitcase and was off to the airport to fly back to Seattle. I’m so appreciative of a wonderful sister who was sensitive enough to hop on a plane and come share this weekend with me. I love her dearly.

Lisa & Kathy - Forever Sisters

My nifty 'power port.'

Not just my sister, but my friend.