Upgraded to Stage 3!!

Friday March 30, 2012

I had a followup appointment with the surgeon who implanted my port last week. Jeannee came again and took me. The doctor said that everything looks great, except the cancer. He still asked me more questions about my lifestyle trying to understand how I could have gotten lung cancer. It just doesn’t make sense. I guess it doesn’t really matter how I got it. I have it and now my job is to be positive and do everything in my power to take care of myself and trust in the Lord so that I can get rid of this invasion of my body.

Lincoln was home in time to take me to the follow up appointment with the oncologist this afternoon. We counted it as our Friday date night. Hahah The doctor took my blood and ran the regular tests. She says I look great and not to worry too much. She told us the awesome news that the PET Scan came back negative for any other signs of cancer. Wohoo! I was so happy. She also mentioned that after looking at my chart and my reports that she’s decided that I am more of a Stage 3 Lung Cancer patient! Wohoo again! What a great day! 

Some may think that the doctor just changed her mind about my state of cancer; I know that God is in the details and I recognize His hand in this incredible journey. I am so grateful for Him who knoweth all things and sustains me each and every day!

First Unexpected Trip to the ER

Thursday March 29, 2012

During the night and most of the day today, I have been feverishness. With chemo, if you have a fever of 100.5, it’s considered to be an emergency. This afternoon when I reached 100.3, I decided to call the clinic and see what to do. It was closed and the after-hours office told me I needed to get to the nearest Emergency Room to be evaluated. Lincoln was still at work, but Jeannee came right over and she drove me to the hospital. She sat with me until Lincoln arrived. We spent about 3 hours having my blood drawn, a chest x-ray done, and I received an IV bag of antibiotics just for good measure. They said everything looks good except for the cancer and the fact that I had a fever. When it was all done, we took the report of their tests and they told me to check in with the doctor tomorrow.

The nurse that helped me was  a young man, probably in his 20’s. As we spoke, he mentioned that he had been undergoing chemo therapy for some kind of large tumor in his chest. They had opened him up, removed 2 ribs and the tumor. He followed up with chemo/radiation therapy. Tonight was his first night back at work in a few months. He looked so healthy and young and strong. It was hard to imagine that he had cancer. I realize that cancer is not picky about who gets it. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, color, or lifestyle. I wished him all the best and he expressed the same sentiments to me. I don’t like cancer, at all.

Feeling the love!

Tuesday March 27, 2012 – PET Scan

This morning I felt pretty good. Lincoln was worried about going back to work, and being able to be at home with me. I told him I’d be with Jeannee, my friend and Relief Society President, most of the day. She took me in for a PET Scan. This test scanned my body for an hour in great detail to determine if I have any other cancer in my body, other than what we already know about in my left lung. The results will be sent to my doctor by tomorrow. Hopefully they won’t’ find anything else. When I came home, I was tired and took a nap. This evening Jeannee brought our family dinner and several friends dropped by to see how I was doing and lend their support. I loved seeing them, but was ready to sleep when the visiting was over.

Wednesday March 28, 2012

I am feeling good today. It’s like I am just a slower version of myself. The doctor said that I was going to be her most difficult patient. When I asked why, she explained that I am relatively young, active, in good shape, and healthy, well except for the cancer. I thought those were good traits. She continued to explain that most of her patients have already had to slow down their lifestyle due to other health issues such as age, diabetes, hip surgery, etc. It will be a big adjustment for me to recognize that my number one job right now IS TO GET BETTER! I am trying hard to be a good patient so that the meds and the Lord’s hand can help me recover from this situation. I called my friend Wendy, who survived colon cancer, and asked her how I will know when the hard days are coming. The nurses indicated that day 3 and 4 after chemo tend to be patient’s most difficult days. Today is Day 3. I explained that I’m walking around the house in my pajamas taking it easy and I feel like “I’m waiting for an arm or a leg to fall off!” She just laughed at me and then said that it will be subtle, but I may be walking up the stairs and I may have to stop half way up to catch my breath. It was good to talk to her and feel her reassuring voice of experience. They also have me drinking at least 2-3 quarts of liquid a day to help flush my system, keep me hydrated and to allow the medicines to do their job.

I have been overwhelmed by the tsunami of love and support our family is receiving from our neighbors, our ward, the people from Rocky Mountain Elementary School, and from our family and friends across the US.

This afternoon I received a text from a friend at the school that said Lincoln needed to drive me by the school. As we drove past the marquee, I could see that on both sides of the sign was the message: Mrs. Jacobs We love you! I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe they would do that for me. The love and support is overwhelming, but so appreciated. I had Lincoln take pictures so I can save that forever! We also had another friend drop by unexpectedly tonight with an incredible dinner. It was amazing! So many tender mercies! I am so lucky!

I love people at this school!

Strong Courage Take

Monday March 26, 2012

This morning I went to meet with the oncologist for the first time. Lincoln and Kathy came with me. We had a prayer prior to leaving that we’d understand all the information we’d be given and what the future treatments would be like. Kathy’s job was going to be to take notes of what the doctor was telling us and to remember our list of questions. Lincoln was to take it all in and be a strong moral support to me. My job was simply to internalize what was being said and to be brave. Haha I wanted to be strong for this.

We arrived at 9am. We spoke with the doctor for 45 min. and I really like her. She was straight forward with me about possible side effects and what expect from the chemo treatments. I also felt like she was not just treating the cancer, but she was treating me as a person too. I was told I’d need to stop substitute teaching for at least six months. Too many germs in an elementary school. haha She also told me that I can continue to help coach Lexy’s competitive soccer team on the days that I feel good, but I need to do it from the from the side lines and not actually scrimmage with the girls. I was disappointed, but agreed. I mentioned the upcoming wedding and she wanted to know the exact date. I told her June 23^rd and she marked it in my records. She is going to do her best to work with my treatment schedule so that I’m having a good day for the wedding. I told her that is one important date that I don't want to miss. I want to be in the temple to see Tyler & Andrea be sealed.

She said that I have stage 4 lung cancer. I have a round of chemo once every 3 weeks. After 6 weeks, they will do a CT Scan of my chest and evaluate how the meds are fighting the cancer. If it looks good, we move forward, if not, then she'll adjust my medications. The doctor anticipates that I’ll do 6 rounds of chemo which is 18 weeks or about 6 months. Wow! Now I know what time frame to wrap my head around.

After all the talking, the nurse came in to access my newly implanted ‘port’ in my chest. It was extremely swollen and bruised from the surgery just 3 days ago. As the nurse came to access my port, I was a nervous about painful the process might be. Lincoln moved so the nurse could get close to me. Kathy held my hand on the other side. They did have difficulty accessing because it was so swollen and the nurse kept pushing harder and hard without any success. She asked the doctor to help and the doctor said that they may have to lay me on the exam table so they could push hard enough to get it. I asked them to wait a moment so that I could brace myself again the back of the chair I was sitting in. I told them to try again. This time I closed my eyes and a children’s Primary song came into my mind. Then I said a little prayer and asked Heavenly Father to take me by the hand and to allow all the fasting and prayers on my behalf to give me the strength to endure this moment. I felt a sweet peace wash over me and I knew I was not alone. It was then that the nurse said, we’ve got it! They said they were amazed that I didn’t hit them or yell out. Kathy said that I'm the bravest person she knows. I was just glad it was over. I recognized in that moment that prayer is a tangible power that can be tapped into in time of need to sustain us in life’s challenges. I was so grateful for that tender mercy. 

Once the port was in, I walked to the sitting area where there were 7 or 8 Lazy Boy recliners in a big half circle. There were 4 other people sitting in chairs with IV trees hooked up to them waiting for their medicine to drip into their bodies. I got started and Lincoln and Kathy took turns sitting next to me. They told us it would take 5 hours for the medicine to be administered because it was my first time. Next time it should take 3 1/2 - 4 hours and after that maybe 3 –3 ½ . Lincoln bought back lunch for us. I saw many people come and go during my 5 hour stay there. All the nurses and staff were extremely nice to me. The entire medicine aspect was not bad, just long. It was a strange experience. It felt like being in a 'toxic bar.' Each person told the nurses what they were in for and the then nurses would be them their own personal 'toxic cocktail.' The others were all in for lung cancer as well.

It was about 5pm by the time we finished up there. The doctor told me that I will lose my hair and so I really wanted to go wig shopping while my sister was still in town. I want to enjoy or have fun with this journery as much as I can. So we took our camera to the wig shop and I tried on all kinds of wigs in all styles & colors. They put a big nylon on my head to flatten all my curls and so the wigs would fit. It seemed like a big PED for head. You know, like the PEDS you put on your feet when you are trying on new shoes. Lincoln told me that I’ll be beautiful when I’m bald. Hahah He’s such a good husband. I know he really loves me. We finally settled on a very pretty one that I think will be nice for the wedding. I was so glad Kathy was there too!

We finished up getting all the prescriptions and got home around 7pm. Kathy then packed up her suitcase and was off to the airport to fly back to Seattle. I’m so appreciative of a wonderful sister who was sensitive enough to hop on a plane and come share this weekend with me. I love her dearly.

Lisa & Kathy - Forever Sisters

My nifty 'power port.'

Not just my sister, but my friend.

Do you really have cancer?

Sunday March 25, 2012 - Fast Sunday 

This morning, I felt odd attending church knowing that the ward was fasting for me and that they might talk about me. I was there with Lincoln & Lexy and my sister Kathy & her son, Alex. Before the meeting started a little second grade boy in the ward that I know from the elementary school approached me and asked, “Do you really have cancer?” I answered yes, I really do. He asked again, “Are you SURE you have cancer?” I laughed and said, “Yes. That’s what the doctors are telling me.” I could tell he was having such a hard time processing the fact that he was told I have cancer, which is supposed to be a scary sad thing, and yet I still look the same. I was at church and I was smiling. He asked me a third time. I simply explained that I was doing my best so that I can get better and return back to teach at the school. He walked back to his family with a very confused look on his face. I still don’t think he believes me.

To sum it up, the meeting was one of the most spirit filled meetings that I’ve been too. So many people shared their testimonies of faith and hope and healing and wished me a speedy recovery. They shared their love and support and stories of miracles happening in their own lives during times of trial and challenge and encouraged me to have hope.  Alex, shared a very tender testimony of feeling love from our ward and from our family.

I feel like my entire life has prepared me for this new journey. I know that I can do hard things with the Lord at my side. My faith is strong and I know that as we unite our prayers and faith together that the Lord can make miracles happen in my life. I am praying for a miracle. I want to live. I want to continue to be a mother and to become a grandmother. I want to grow with Lincoln and to continue to serve in any capacity that the Lord needs me.

As soon as the meeting ended, a new lady in our ward who was sitting in front of me said, “It’s an honor to fast for you.” Wow. I was overwhelmed. For some time people came up and talked to me & hugged me. I was emotionally exhausted afterwards. It was strange, but in a way I felt like I was attending my own funeral. Some people cried so hard and hugged me so tight, I felt like they were mourning my passing, even though I’m still here and plan on being here for some time to come! Haha I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many good people. 

The Gift of Family

Sat. March 24, 2012

This morning my mom called early. I know that she probably didn’t sleep very much last night. I spoke with both my parents and we had a long talk about my diagnosis. I told her that I was fine, other than the news of the cancer. She had many questions, but most of them I could not answer. We’ll know a lot more after our meeting with the oncologist on Monday. Until then, I told her that we have to be positive and have faith in the Lord. I don’t want any time spent on negative thoughts or' what if’s.' I’ve decided to move forward in faith and trust in the Lord and in His timing. I know with Him all things are possible. I shared my testimony with my parents and expressed my love to them. I told my mom that we, she & I need to be strong. She has an upcoming surgery next week and I have a chemo treatment to do. Together, we can do this. It was a good talk.

Later this morning, Kathy, Ashley, Lexy and I went to get pedicures. It was a lot of fun and now I have pretty toes going to surgery! This afternoon, we took Lexy and headed over to her soccer game. Chad, Tyler, and Lincoln joined us and we had a great time cheering the team on and seeing them win 3-1. Kathy took a lot of pictures. It was a great afternoon being with my family and feeling the warmth of the springtime sunshine.

As the word got out via email to our ward about the ward fast for me tomorrow, people have started dropping by the house to give hugs and express their love and concern for us. We live in such an amazing neighborhood. I feel so blessed.

This evening, we had a group ‘skype’ session via the computer with all of my family in Washington. My parents are in North Bend and my brother & his wife are in Redmond. Tyler & Andrea, Ashley & Lexy, Chad and Kathy were all here at the house with us. We surprised Kathy with a birthday cake and sang happy birthday to her. We made it a "Princess Party" for my sister and got a princess themed cake. My mom dressed up and wore her crazy Go Go boots. And for some crazy reason, my dad put on one of my mom's old wigs and sunglasses. They are so entertaining! Chris had collected a stack of old family photos and shared them with all of us as we tried to guess what year and where each one had been taken. It was such a wonderful time to laugh and giggle and enjoy being together as a family. Although I've always know how much I love my family, in light of my current situation, I realize more than ever what a treasure being a part of a family truly is. They are our greatest joy. 

Lisa & Lexy enjoying the soccer game.

Lincoln, Lisa, Kathy, Alex, Tyler, Andrea & Lexy

The Process Begins . . .

Fri. March 23, 2012

Today I went back into surgery to have my port implanted. It was a same day surgery procedure. I remember filling out the consent forms and personal health history. In the past, I have always marked NO on all of the possible physical problems that people might have. I’ve been pretty darn healthy most of my life. I came to the box where it said, CANCER. I had to mark YES. I had a wave of emotion wash over me and I had to fight back the tears. The surgery went well and by Friday afternoon, I was home resting. Shortly after I got home, three friends from the neighborhood dropped by to visit me and extend their love. Lincoln brought up folding chairs and put them around my bed. We laughed and talked and I told them I was going to be just fine. I could tell they wanted to see me and see how I was doing. Everyone is in such a state of shock; me too! The Relief Society President from church asked if I was comfortable telling the ward so that the members can keep me in their prayers for this Sunday’s Fast Sunday Meeting. I decided that this is going to be a battle to get well and I need all the prayers, fasting, and faith that I can get. I told her I was all right with it. I don’t want to do this alone.

My kids who are attending Utah State University, Chad & Ashley, drove down from Logan to be with our family and it really meant a lot to me to have them here for the weekend. I haven’t seen Chad since Christmas and I have missed him. My sister, Kathy, surprised me and flew in to town from Seattle to spend a few days with me as well. It was so good to see her! We talked and laughed. It's just what I needed. I love my sister dearly. She called my parents tonight and told them the news. I’m so worried about my mom. She’s scheduled for back surgery next Tuesday and I don’t want my news to upset her prior to going into her own surgery. She needs to be strong as well. I guess we'll have to be strong together.