Sat.
Sept. 22, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Marriage Retreat
A little get away
Fri.
Sept. 21, 2012
All the side effects of my chemo and radiation are in
full bloom and I had a pretty rough night. The skin on my chest is on fire and
feels like a bad sunburn. My esophagus is extremely inflamed, uncomfortable and
sore. I didn’t go walking today before my radiation appointment. I think the
smoke in the air is adding to the irritation to my esophagus, so I decided to
sleep in a little and take a day off. I spoke with the nurse at the cancer
clinic and she gave me some cortisone cream to put on my chest several times a
day to help with the discomfort. I told her I just need to know what
discomforts we can fix and what things I just need to learn to deal with for
now. A lot of the radiation discomforts I just need to tough through. Okay
Superman shirt, I think I need to wear you again today! Haha
This afternoon Lincoln and I were invited to stay at our
friends’ cabin with 3 other couples for the Stake Marriage Retreat at the Aspen
Lakes Stake Property. We carpooled up together and went out to dinner. It was
so much fun to hang out with other friends and have fun laughing. The fall
colors are in bloom and it was gorgeous!
A Day at Radiation
Thurs.
Sept. 20, 2012
I accomplished a lot this morning. I went walking
/jogging with Tracy. There are some fires in Idaho and the air has been very
smoky this week. I’ve been sneezing a lot and my eyes are watering like crazy.
I think it’s affecting my esophagus as well. It’s pretty tough to swallow saliva,
let alone drinks and food. But, I’m doing my best to try and drink more
liquids. I decided to buy donuts to take in to the Cancer Center to thank the
doctors and nurses for all they do to care for me and make me feel so loved here.
I also took pictures of the great technicians, Katie and Dana, that help me every day with radiation. I love these ladies. I wore my Superman shirt today to let the cancer not to mess with me!
Katie and Dana, my wonderful radiation technicians!
The radiation machine and me!
Feeling Thirsty
Wed.
Sept. 19, 2012
Today I went in to get an extra 2 liters of fluids to
help me fight off any dehydration. It took 2 1/2 hours and I was chilled to the bone!
I had two blankets on me and I was still cold. Half way through the process, I
had to un-connect from the IV tree and go over to get changed into a gown for
my round of radiation. There they had a ‘blanket warmer’ and they put warm
flannel sheets on my legs and arms while I was doing radiation. It felt sooo
good! When I was done they let me take those with me back to the chemo side of
the office. As I finished up the rest of the fluids, all snuggled under my two
fleece blankets and two warm flannel sheets, the doctor walked by said I looked
like I was ready for a winter campout. Haha I just think my internal thermostat
is broken right now! J
This afternoon I felt much more tired than usual. I think
the radiation fatigue is building up. I was able to meet with Lexy and some of
her teachers for Parent Teacher Conferences. That felt good. It was great to
hear all the awesome things that Lexy’s teachers had to say about her. She’s a
terrific girl.
Boost Time
Tues.
Sept. 18, 2012
I met with my radiation oncologist today. He also told me to try my best to maintain weight until I’m through with
treatment. We scheduled a PET Scan for Dec. At that point the inflammation in my body should be healed and we can see how my body has responded to the treatments.
He says I’m doing
great. I’ll begin the ‘boost’ radiation treatments on Friday for the remainder of my radiation treatments. That's where they target just the large tumor area in an attempt to really shrink it and get rid
of it.
My sister-in-law and mother-in-law drove down to visit with me. We had a
great time. Jenny made a wonderful casserole for us for dinner. I'm so grateful for
family and their love and support. I took a very long nap this afternoon. My chest is beginning to feel like it’s on fire. It's like a bad sunburn. I guess it's just the nature of the beast. I hope the tumor is feeling the heat and dying in the process. Two more weeks to go. A neighbor knocked on the door and had made us some
dinner and just wanted to drop it by. I was grateful I could eat
some of it. I feel surrounded by love.
Chemo Round #11
Mon.
Sept, 17, 2012
Chemo #11 and Radiation #20 out of 30. Dr. Breyer told me
to maintain my weight and not lose any more. The office was very busy with a lot of patients. My friend Tracy took me. We had a good time visiting with all the
other patients. There was a funny conversation with three of us chemo patients that have lost our ability to
taste different foods, especially chocolate. Tracy said she felt so sorry for
all of us and shook her head in disbelief wondering what it would be like to not be able to enjoy chocolate!
Sunday Baking
Sun.
Sept. 16, 2012
I woke up to a beautiful, Fall morning. Regional
Conference was fantastic. Linc called someone in the stake so that I could
watch the 'live feed' over the internet and avoid the crowds at church. The
messages were wonderful and I feel a renewed effort to try a little hard to be
a better person. I’m hoping that last week’s daily shots of neuprogin will be
enough to boost my white blood cell.
Lexy was craving an apple crisp and I told her to help
herself. Since I lost my taste buds about 3 or 4 days ago everything I eat
tastes burnt. YUK! My esophagus is fully engulfed from the inflammation of the
radiation treatment so it hurts to swallow. Thus, I have no real desire to eat
very much. My current favorite foods are ice cold, protein shakes, popsicles,
and vanilla ice cream. I also discovered that I can eat sliced cheddar cheese.
This is such a strange journey that I’m
on. Haha
 |
| Lexy and her amazing apple crisp! |
Personal Testimony
Sat.
Sept. 15, 2012
I went walking with Tracy this morning and felt an
increased amount of strength and peace. The sunshine and fall colors were
beautiful. Lincoln and Lexy worked around the house on projects that needed to
be done and I worked on polishing my talk. I made a crock pot dinner for all of
us to enjoy after the meeting tonight. Chad was able to come down from Logan to
be there for my talk. I know he sacrificed a lot to be there and it meant the world to me. Tyler and Andrea made it too and I was just missing Ashley.
I was scared, but grateful for the chance to speak
tonight. I’m grateful that I’m still
here upon this earth to fight for my life and to be able to share my testimony
with my family and the other members of the stake. I felt the Lord sustain me as
I gave my talk in Conference. I am so grateful for
the Holy Ghost which accompanied my words and bore witness of the truthfulness
of the gospel. I also am grateful for the love and support of my wonderful family.
Sacred Parking Lot
Fri.
Sept 14, 2012
Today I had to skip walking because I was sent to the
Provo Cancer clinic to receive my shot early this morning and then travel back
to American Fork for my radiation appointment. I dressed in Sunday clothes and
after my appointments I went to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple parking lot. Just
pulling in to the parking space, I felt a special spirit of having made it to
the temple. I said a humble prayer and asked the Lord to direct my thoughts for
my talk. I took out a paper and pen and the thoughts began to flow. I felt a
specific direction on the topics that need to prepare for my talk on Sat.
How
humbly grateful I am that the Lord blesses us in all circumstances. Even the
temple parking lot can be a sacred place when that’s as close as we can get to
the temple and our prayers are heard.
Temple Day
Thurs.
Sept. 13, 2012
I was able to go walking this morning with Tracy. I didn't feel well enough to jog at all, but I’m glad I went and felt the
sunshine on my face.
Today was Stake Temple Day as we get ready for Regional
Conference on Sunday. We were asked by members of our Stake Presidency to spend
as much time in the temple as possible today. My immune system is low and I
knew that I couldn't be in the temple with so many people and risking germs, so I
was hoping to drive out to the temple parking lot and just spend some time
there. I was feeling so sick after my radiation appointment and receiving my neuprogin
shot that I came home and went to sleep. My stomach was upset for most of the
afternoon & evening and I never made it to the temple. I was very
disappointed. I worked on my talk for the Adult Session of Stake Conference for
Sat. night. I’m having difficulty getting my thoughts to come together. I just
want to make sure that I share what the Lord needs me to say.
My friend, Jeannee knew I wasn't feeling well and brought
by some homemade butternut squash soup and some homemade French bread. I am so
appreciative of her kindness and sensitivity to our family’s needs. I was able
to eat little bits of the bread and it felt good to have something in my
stomach. I asked Lincoln for a priesthood blessing to be able to compose my
thoughts for my talk, to be able to share my thoughts with the spirit, and to
be physically well enough to be there for the adult session. I felt a peace
during the blessing and I know the Lord will sustain me in what I've been asked
to do.
Mt. Timanopogs Temple
Chemo Round #10
Mon.
Sept. 10, 2012 Chemo Round #10
This morning, I went in for the 10th round of
chemo and another dose of radiation. My friend Tracy took me and we had a
wonderful time visiting. I was surprised when they evaluated my blood counts to
find that my white blood cell count has dropped dramatically this past week
and my immune system is extremely low. The doctor allowed me to go ahead and get the chemo
treatment today, but explained that I will need to have a daily shot of
‘neuprogen’ for the next 5 days. This shot is supposed to help my body increase
the production of white blood cells so that I am more able to fight off
infections. Next Monday, they will analyze my blood again to make sure that my
WBC count is back up in the ‘normal’ range or I will have to skip that week’s
round of chemo for another week until my body bounces back.
I was worried that I had done something to cause my body
to take this turn, but the doctor explained that the combination of chemo and
radiation is simply taking its toll on my body as it fights the cancer. I was disappointed because that means that I’ll have to make some
adjustments in my schedule of ‘to do’s’ this week and be more cautious about
being out in public and being exposed to germs. I had a few fun things planned with some friends this week and that's not going to happen. I just keep telling myself
that, if all goes well, I will only have 3½ more weeks of these treatments and then
I can start to recover. Wahoo!
Me & by buddy Tracy at Chemo
Game Day!
Sat.
Sept. 8, 2012
I today I went walking and trying to jog a bit with
Tracy. The fatigue is definitely building up from the radiation/ chemo combo.
My legs were heavy legs and breathing was pretty labored, but I did it!
I went to the BYU Football game with Lincoln this
afternoon. It was extremely hot and I was worried about getting sunburned on my
neck from the radiation treatments. I spent a lot of time under the covered
area enjoying a huge shaved ice drink. I made it to the 3rd quarter,
but then realized I was done for the day. BYU won the game and I went to bed
early and had a smile on my face. Go Cougars!
| Go Cougars |
Moving forward one step at a time . . .
Wed.
Sept. 5, 2012
This morning I had such a wonderful experience
exercising. I went by myself and was able to feed the horses on my way and I
jogged (very slowly) about ¾ of my 2+ mile loop. I used landmarks to keep me
going from one point to the next. My favorites are the square yellow metal
pieces on the corners of each block. I make myself run to those and do a little
victory dance when I get there. It was AWESOME! On the hills, when I got tired,
each step I would say, “This is a victory over cancer! This is a victory over
chemo! This is a victory over radiation!” Each step was an emotional win over
this challenge in my life right now and I am literally fighting my way back to
health and it feels terrific!
The neighborhood landmarks that keep me moving forward!
Chemo Round #9
Tues. Sept. 4, 2012 - Chemo Round #9
Today was a long day at the cancer center. Jeannee picked me up at 8:30am and we were there until 2pm.
Although it was a long time, it went rather quickly as we had the chance to visit with
each other and with many of the other patients who were there receiving
treatment. I had the pleasure of meeting a neighbor of ours for the first time
as he came in for treatment and sat right next to me. His name is Wayne and
although we’ve never met before, our ward and family have been praying for him
since he was diagnosed with cancer back in June. He lives up the street from us and it was wonderful to finally put a name together with his face.
He’s not a member of the church, but has been learning about it and he shared
his beautiful simple testimony that he feels God’s love and influence in his
life. I’m so glad I met him today.
I'm trying harder to listen to the promptings of the spirit in my life and act on them. Sunday I had the impression of dropping a little gift off
to three individuals in my ward. I can't remember things as well as I'd like so I wrote their names down on my ‘to do’ list.
This evening I wrapped up a few loaves of yummy bread and dropped them off at
each of their homes. It was so good to visit with each of these people and to
express my love and concern for them and lend them support in some of the
challenges that they are going through. After
receiving so much from so many people, it just feels good to give back. I need
to do more of that.
Opportunity
Mon.
Sept. 3, 2012
Quote of the day: "The pessimist sees the difficulty in every
opportunity; the optimist, the opportunity in every difficulty." L.P.
Jacks. Here's to seeing the wonderful opportunities that each new day brings.
Tonight, I was home resting and the phone rang. I
received a call from our Stake Executive Secretary who called on behalf of our
Stake President to ask if I am willing to speak in the adult session of
Stake Conference on Sept. 15th. I am both overwhelmed and humbled to
be asked to fulfill that assignment. I’m supposed to speak about ‘Faith &
Relying on the Lord’ along with my experiences of the past 6 months or so.
Lincoln suggested that we let the kids know and ask them to come be a part of
that evening. I just hope I can put into words the tender mercies, miracles and
many blessings that I and my family have experienced throughout this cancer
journey.
An optimist would say that, even though presenting this talk will be difficult, it is a wonderful opportunity! I move forward in faith.
Inspiring Young Woman
Sun. Sept. 1, 2012
I read this quote from a
young woman named Kristin Sumbot fought through more than 2 years of chemotherapy
and radiation before she was finally pronounced cancer free. She is now a
college student and planning a 20 day trip to climb Mt. Kailash, an 18,000 foot
mountain near Nepal, to shout from the mountain tops that she beat cancer. She
is traveling with other cancer survivors and care givers and taking ‘prayer
flags’ that have the names of people who've been affected by cancer. This is a
profound quote that she made in the article:
"You cannot just put
a cancer journey in a box and feed it to the dust bunnies under your bed,"
she said. "You have to use it as a tool. I now live life like it should
be, not looking out into the rain longing for normality, but feeling each rain
drop … and embracing those kinds of moments because you are alive to do
so.
No one is ever the same
after having been affected by cancer, but we can be a tool for good as we use
these experiences to touch the lives of others with stories of hope, courage,
and determination. I want to use my experience for good."
Kristin Sumbot – BYU
Student – Cancer Survivor
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