Marriage Retreat

Sat. Sept. 22, 2012

This morning we woke up at the cabin and there were three bucks walking around the cabin nibbling on leaves and brush. It was so beautiful. Our Stake leaders cooked breakfast for everyone at the Stake Property above Heber City. It was gorgeous weather. We listened to some terrific speakers about how we can positively influence our marriages and make them stronger. I am so grateful for Lincoln in my life and the great strength he is to me. I’m grateful I felt well enough to go up this weekend and socialize with our friends. It was really a blessing to me.

A little get away

Fri. Sept. 21, 2012

All the side effects of my chemo and radiation are in full bloom and I had a pretty rough night. The skin on my chest is on fire and feels like a bad sunburn. My esophagus is extremely inflamed, uncomfortable and sore. I didn’t go walking today before my radiation appointment. I think the smoke in the air is adding to the irritation to my esophagus, so I decided to sleep in a little and take a day off. I spoke with the nurse at the cancer clinic and she gave me some cortisone cream to put on my chest several times a day to help with the discomfort. I told her I just need to know what discomforts we can fix and what things I just need to learn to deal with for now. A lot of the radiation discomforts I just need to tough through. Okay Superman shirt, I think I need to wear you again today! Haha

This afternoon Lincoln and I were invited to stay at our friends’ cabin with 3 other couples for the Stake Marriage Retreat at the Aspen Lakes Stake Property. We carpooled up together and went out to dinner. It was so much fun to hang out with other friends and have fun laughing. The fall colors are in bloom and it was gorgeous! 

A Day at Radiation

Thurs. Sept. 20, 2012

I accomplished a lot this morning. I went walking /jogging with Tracy. There are some fires in Idaho and the air has been very smoky this week. I’ve been sneezing a lot and my eyes are watering like crazy. I think it’s affecting my esophagus as well. It’s pretty tough to swallow saliva, let alone drinks and food. But, I’m doing my best to try and drink more liquids. I decided to buy donuts to take in to the Cancer Center to thank the doctors and nurses for all they do to care for me and make me feel so loved here.

I also took pictures of the great technicians, Katie and Dana, that help me every day with radiation. I love these ladies. I wore my Superman shirt today to let the cancer not to mess with me! 

Katie and Dana, my wonderful radiation technicians!

The radiation machine and me!

Feeling Thirsty

Wed. Sept. 19, 2012

Today I went in to get an extra 2 liters of fluids to help me fight off any dehydration. It took 2 1/2 hours and I was chilled to the bone! I had two blankets on me and I was still cold. Half way through the process, I had to un-connect from the IV tree and go over to get changed into a gown for my round of radiation. There they had a ‘blanket warmer’ and they put warm flannel sheets on my legs and arms while I was doing radiation. It felt sooo good! When I was done they let me take those with me back to the chemo side of the office. As I finished up the rest of the fluids, all snuggled under my two fleece blankets and two warm flannel sheets, the doctor walked by said I looked like I was ready for a winter campout. Haha I just think my internal thermostat is broken right now! J

This afternoon I felt much more tired than usual. I think the radiation fatigue is building up. I was able to meet with Lexy and some of her teachers for Parent Teacher Conferences. That felt good. It was great to hear all the awesome things that Lexy’s teachers had to say about her. She’s a terrific girl.

Boost Time

Tues. Sept. 18, 2012

I met with my radiation oncologist today. He also told me to try my best to maintain weight until I’m through with treatment. We scheduled a PET Scan for Dec. At that point the inflammation in my body should be healed and we can see how my body has responded to the treatments. 

He says I’m doing great. I’ll begin the ‘boost’ radiation treatments on Friday for the remainder of my radiation treatments. That's where they target just the large tumor area in an attempt to really shrink it and get rid of it. 

My sister-in-law and mother-in-law drove down to visit with me. We had a great time. Jenny made a wonderful casserole for us for dinner. I'm so grateful for family and their love and support. I took a very long nap this afternoon. My chest is beginning to feel like it’s on fire. It's like a bad sunburn. I guess it's just the nature of the beast. I hope the tumor is feeling the heat and dying in the process. Two more weeks to go. A neighbor knocked on the door and had made us some dinner and just wanted to drop it by. I was grateful I could eat some of it. I feel surrounded by love. 

Chemo Round #11

Mon. Sept, 17, 2012

Chemo #11 and Radiation #20 out of 30. Dr. Breyer told me to maintain my weight and not lose any more. The office was very busy with a lot of patients. My friend Tracy took me. We had a good time visiting with all the other patients. There was a funny conversation with three of us chemo patients that have lost our ability to taste different foods, especially chocolate. Tracy said she felt so sorry for all of us and shook her head in disbelief wondering what it would be like to not be able to enjoy chocolate! 

Sunday Baking

Sun. Sept. 16, 2012

I woke up to a beautiful, Fall morning. Regional Conference was fantastic. Linc called someone in the stake so that I could watch the 'live feed' over the internet and avoid the crowds at church. The messages were wonderful and I feel a renewed effort to try a little hard to be a better person. I’m hoping that last week’s daily shots of neuprogin will be enough to boost my white blood cell.

Lexy was craving an apple crisp and I told her to help herself. Since I lost my taste buds about 3 or 4 days ago everything I eat tastes burnt. YUK! My esophagus is fully engulfed from the inflammation of the radiation treatment so it hurts to swallow. Thus, I have no real desire to eat very much. My current favorite foods are ice cold, protein shakes, popsicles, and vanilla ice cream. I also discovered that I can eat sliced cheddar cheese. This is such a strange journey that I’m on. Haha 

Lexy and her amazing apple crisp!

Personal Testimony

Sat. Sept. 15, 2012

I went walking with Tracy this morning and felt an increased amount of strength and peace. The sunshine and fall colors were beautiful. Lincoln and Lexy worked around the house on projects that needed to be done and I worked on polishing my talk. I made a crock pot dinner for all of us to enjoy after the meeting tonight. Chad was able to come down from Logan to be there for my talk. I know he sacrificed a lot to be there and it meant the world to me. Tyler and Andrea made it too and I was just missing Ashley.

I was scared, but grateful for the chance to speak tonight.  I’m grateful that I’m still here upon this earth to fight for my life and to be able to share my testimony with my family and the other members of the stake. I felt the Lord sustain me as I gave my talk in Conference. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost which accompanied my words and bore witness of the truthfulness of the gospel. I also am grateful for the love and support of my wonderful family. 

Sacred Parking Lot

Fri. Sept 14, 2012

Today I had to skip walking because I was sent to the Provo Cancer clinic to receive my shot early this morning and then travel back to American Fork for my radiation appointment. I dressed in Sunday clothes and after my appointments I went to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple parking lot. Just pulling in to the parking space, I felt a special spirit of having made it to the temple. I said a humble prayer and asked the Lord to direct my thoughts for my talk. I took out a paper and pen and the thoughts began to flow. I felt a specific direction on the topics that need to prepare for my talk on Sat. 

How humbly grateful I am that the Lord blesses us in all circumstances. Even the temple parking lot can be a sacred place when that’s as close as we can get to the temple and our prayers are heard. 

Temple Day

Thurs. Sept. 13, 2012

I was able to go walking this morning with Tracy. I didn't feel well enough to jog at all, but I’m glad I went and felt the sunshine on my face. 

Today was Stake Temple Day as we get ready for Regional Conference on Sunday. We were asked by members of our Stake Presidency to spend as much time in the temple as possible today. My immune system is low and I knew that I couldn't be in the temple with so many people and risking germs, so I was hoping to drive out to the temple parking lot and just spend some time there. I was feeling so sick after my radiation appointment and receiving my neuprogin shot that I came home and went to sleep. My stomach was upset for most of the afternoon & evening and I never made it to the temple. I was very disappointed. I worked on my talk for the Adult Session of Stake Conference for Sat. night. I’m having difficulty getting my thoughts to come together. I just want to make sure that I share what the Lord needs me to say.

My friend, Jeannee knew I wasn't feeling well and brought by some homemade butternut squash soup and some homemade French bread. I am so appreciative of her kindness and sensitivity to our family’s needs. I was able to eat little bits of the bread and it felt good to have something in my stomach. I asked Lincoln for a priesthood blessing to be able to compose my thoughts for my talk, to be able to share my thoughts with the spirit, and to be physically well enough to be there for the adult session. I felt a peace during the blessing and I know the Lord will sustain me in what I've been asked to do.

Mt. Timanopogs Temple

Chemo Round #10

Mon. Sept. 10, 2012 Chemo Round #10

This morning, I went in for the 10^th round of chemo and another dose of radiation. My friend Tracy took me and we had a wonderful time visiting. I was surprised when they evaluated my blood counts to find that my white blood cell count has dropped dramatically this past week and my immune system is extremely low. The doctor allowed me to go ahead and get the chemo treatment today, but explained that I will need to have a daily shot of ‘neuprogen’ for the next 5 days. This shot is supposed to help my body increase the production of white blood cells so that I am more able to fight off infections. Next Monday, they will analyze my blood again to make sure that my WBC count is back up in the ‘normal’ range or I will have to skip that week’s round of chemo for another week until my body bounces back.

I was worried that I had done something to cause my body to take this turn, but the doctor explained that the combination of chemo and radiation is simply taking its toll on my body as it fights the cancer. I was disappointed because that means that I’ll have to make some adjustments in my schedule of ‘to do’s’ this week and be more cautious about being out in public and being exposed to germs. I had a few fun things planned with some friends this week and that's not going to happen. I just keep telling myself that, if all goes well, I will only have 3½ more weeks of these treatments and then I can start to recover. Wahoo! 

Me & by buddy Tracy at Chemo

Game Day!

Sat. Sept. 8, 2012

I today I went walking and trying to jog a bit with Tracy. The fatigue is definitely building up from the radiation/ chemo combo. My legs were heavy legs and breathing was pretty labored, but I did it!  

I went to the BYU Football game with Lincoln this afternoon. It was extremely hot and I was worried about getting sunburned on my neck from the radiation treatments. I spent a lot of time under the covered area enjoying a huge shaved ice drink. I made it to the 3^rd quarter, but then realized I was done for the day. BYU won the game and I went to bed early and had a smile on my face. Go Cougars! 

Go Cougars

Moving forward one step at a time . . .

Wed. Sept. 5, 2012

This morning I had such a wonderful experience exercising. I went by myself and was able to feed the horses on my way and I jogged (very slowly) about ¾ of my 2+ mile loop. I used landmarks to keep me going from one point to the next. My favorites are the square yellow metal pieces on the corners of each block. I make myself run to those and do a little victory dance when I get there. It was AWESOME! On the hills, when I got tired, each step I would say, “This is a victory over cancer! This is a victory over chemo! This is a victory over radiation!” Each step was an emotional win over this challenge in my life right now and I am literally fighting my way back to health and it feels terrific!

The neighborhood landmarks that keep me moving forward!

Chemo Round #9

Tues. Sept. 4, 2012 - Chemo Round #9

Today was a long day at the cancer center. Jeannee picked me up at 8:30am and we were there until 2pm. 

Although it was a long time, it went rather quickly as we had the chance to visit with each other and with many of the other patients who were there receiving treatment. I had the pleasure of meeting a neighbor of ours for the first time as he came in for treatment and sat right next to me. His name is Wayne and although we’ve never met before, our ward and family have been praying for him since he was diagnosed with cancer back in June. He lives up the street from us and it was wonderful to finally put a name together with his face. He’s not a member of the church, but has been learning about it and he shared his beautiful simple testimony that he feels God’s love and influence in his life. I’m so glad I met him today.

I'm trying harder to listen to the promptings of the spirit in my life and act on them. Sunday I had the impression of dropping a little gift off to three individuals in my ward. I can't remember things as well as I'd like so I wrote their names down on my ‘to do’ list. This evening I wrapped up a few loaves of yummy bread and dropped them off at each of their homes. It was so good to visit with each of these people and to express my love and concern for them and lend them support in some of the challenges that they are going through. After receiving so much from so many people, it just feels good to give back. I need to do more of that.

Opportunity

Mon. Sept. 3, 2012

Quote of the day: "The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist, the opportunity in every difficulty." L.P. Jacks. Here's to seeing the wonderful opportunities that each new day brings.

Tonight, I was home resting and the phone rang. I received a call from our Stake Executive Secretary who called on behalf of our Stake President to ask if I am willing to speak in the adult session of Stake Conference on Sept. 15^th. I am both overwhelmed and humbled to be asked to fulfill that assignment. I’m supposed to speak about ‘Faith & Relying on the Lord’ along with my experiences of the past 6 months or so. Lincoln suggested that we let the kids know and ask them to come be a part of that evening. I just hope I can put into words the tender mercies, miracles and many blessings that I and my family have experienced throughout this cancer journey. 

An optimist would say that, even though presenting this talk will be difficult, it is a wonderful opportunity! I move forward in faith. 

Inspiring Young Woman

Sun. Sept. 1, 2012

I read this quote from a young woman named Kristin Sumbot fought through more than 2 years of chemotherapy and radiation before she was finally pronounced cancer free. She is now a college student and planning a 20 day trip to climb Mt. Kailash, an 18,000 foot mountain near Nepal, to shout from the mountain tops that she beat cancer. She is traveling with other cancer survivors and care givers and taking ‘prayer flags’ that have the names of people who've been affected by cancer. This is a profound quote that she made in the article:

"You cannot just put a cancer journey in a box and feed it to the dust bunnies under your bed," she said. "You have to use it as a tool. I now live life like it should be, not looking out into the rain longing for normality, but feeling each rain drop … and embracing those kinds of moments because you are alive to do so.

No one is ever the same after having been affected by cancer, but we can be a tool for good as we use these experiences to touch the lives of others with stories of hope, courage, and determination. I want to use my experience for good."

Kristin Sumbot – BYU Student – Cancer Survivor

BYU Football Season Begins!

Thurs. Aug 30, 2012 – First BYU Football Game of the Season

This morning I was able to drag myself out of bed to do my 2+ mile walk. I am feeling more of the fatigue from the radiation right now. Afterwards, I showered and went to my radiation appointment. After coming home, I was completely wiped out and had a really good nap. Later I woke up to eat lunch and do a few things around the house like laundry and vacuuming out the car. Then the fatigue set in and I took a 2^nd nap! Wow! I’m trying to be patient with my body and allow it to get the rest it needs, but I have to admit that I feel a bit like a little old granny sleeping as much as I have today. Haha

This evening was the first BYU football game of the season and kick off was at 8:15pm. A dear friend of ours was able to get us a parking pass close to the stadium so that I wouldn’t have to walk too far to get and from the games. It was wonderful. As the crowd rose in the stadium for the playing of the national anthem, a wave of emotion swept over me as I remembered 5 months ago when I was first diagnosed and we were deciding if we should buy season tickets for the coming fall. I told Lincoln, “We’re buying those football tickets and I WILL be going to the games with you!” Well 5 months later, there I stood next to my sweetheart in our BYU blue and white colors getting ready to make it through another football season together! I’m so grateful to still be here and for the gift of enjoying these moments with the people I love. I’m grateful to God for his tender mercies in my life. I will keep fighting! By the way, although I was only able to make it half way through the game, BYU did win and I plan on winning, too!

What a wonderful, wonderful world!

Tues. Aug, 28, 2012

This morning I went walking again with Tracy. We even jogged almost half of our route. It felt really good. I love talking with her and laughing. It’s good for my spirit. Later I went to my radiation appointment and had my weekly visit with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Clark. He checked to see how I’m doing after the first 7 radiation treatments and 2 low-dose chemo rounds. I still feel good and have not seen any redness or irritation on my chest or neck from the radiation yet. He clarified that when I’m done with the 6 weeks of radiation/chemo that they will give me 3 months of no treatments for my body to heal from everything and then another PET Scan. I can’t even imagine what 3 months without any chemo or radiation will feel like, probably, like HEAVEN! I’m really looking forward to that.

This afternoon I took a nap and was surprised when I woke up to find that a dear friend in the ward had dropped off a dinner for our family. What wonderful friends we have! I stopped by to see a young man who is leaving on his mission tomorrow for England and to wish him well. Then I stopped by to see my friend who had brought us the yummy dinner. It was wonderful to feel her spirit and reconnect with her. She’s a special lady.

Just as we were getting ready to go to bed, The door-bell rang and someone left an amazing Chicken Alfredo casserole on our porch. As we knelt in prayer, we gave thanks to our Heavenly Father for such a kind ward in which we live and for so many good people willing to reach out and support us right now. We are truly blessed.

Chemo Round #8 & Radiation Week 2

Mon. Aug. 27, 2012

Today was the beginning of Week 2 radiation and chemo. My friend, Jeannee, came with me for the ‘fieldtrip’ to the cancer center. The team of nurses and doctors that work there are really great people and I appreciate all they are doing to help me heal and get better, but I don’t necessarily ‘like’ going there. J

Having my friend with me made the experience so much more enjoyable. We chatted about a million different things and laughed together. The time really seemed to fly by. She’s amazing. 

At one point, an older man, about 73, came in and sat by us. He was definitely tired and not feeling well, but he had a smile on his face and said hello to everyone in the room. As we visited with him, we learned that he was going through chemo for the 3^rd time! I can’t even imagine what that would be like! My heart went out to him and I admired his desire to be happy and cheerful, despite his challenge. Happiness really is a choice and I’m grateful for the examples of goodness, love and courage that I see all around me. Although the cancer center is not a fun place to go visit, it truly is a sacred place. There’s a special spirit as some people reach out to help heal and comfort those who are suffering and others who are fighting for their lives and trying to understand the purpose in their challenges. 

Ashley Off to College

Thurs. Aug 23, 2012

All day long Ashley packed up her things and squeezed them into her little 1990 Nissan Sentra to take back up to Utah State for another year of college. I have appreciated her coming home this summer to help me with the wedding and being my personal helper with life as a chemo patient. She’s never complained and she’s made me laugh and smile. 

I will miss her this year. She has been overwhelmed with not having a job when she goes back. Something about conflicts with her class schedule. Just as we were hugging good-bye, her cell phone rang and it was a lady at Aggie Ice Cream asking if she was still available for a job with them. Tears of joy ran down her face and then down mine! So after the call, we had a ‘thank you’ prayer and hugged as she headed back up to school. I’m so grateful for tender mercies and for answered payers. I know the Lord is mindful of each of our situations and that He is with us. Good luck, Ashley!

Happy 25th Anniversary

Wed. Aug 22, 2012 25 years of marriage

Today is my 25^th wedding anniversary! Wow! Lincoln and I had talked about waiting until I get better to go do something to celebrate, but I decided that we need to celebrate ‘now’! It couldn’t be anything too big or too far away, so we decided to just go out to dinner and spend the night away together. Life is too short and too fragile to just take for granted that there will be ‘another time.’ I’m grateful for the past 25 years with my best friend at my side. We've had challenges, but so many blessings and joys in our lives. I’m grateful for the gift of life and for the opportunity to be a wife and mother and for the wonderful lessons that I’ve learned along the way. Lincoln still tells me that he loves me and that I’m beautiful. I’m a lucky woman. Here’s to 25 more years!

Lincoln & Lisa - 25 years!

Phase 2 of Treatments Begins

Mon. Aug. 20, 2012 – Radiation Begins!

This morning I started with a 2+ mile brisk walk. It felt really good again. Each time I go, I feel stronger and stronger. I recognize that the radiation therapy will bring on added fatigue in a few weeks, but right now I feel really good.

After a shower, Ashley went with me to have my first radiation treatment. It went relatively smooth and only took about 20 minutes. Then I met with Dr. Breyer to discuss what chemo she wants me to take on a weekly basis for the next 6 weeks. I’ve been praying that my doctors will be inspired as to what will best help me beat this battle against cancer. Today I was told that because I have responded so well to the Carboplatin and Taxotere chemo drugs, she wants to keep me on those 2 meds on a much lower dosage. I was quite surprised because she had mentioned a possible different medication last week when I saw her. 

She said that it’s such a low dose that it’s like a ‘whiff’ of chemo compared to the heavy doses I was on previously. I also thought my chemo would be a 30 minute session, but after talking with the nurses and getting set up for my chemo, I learned that it is more like a 3 hour chemo event each week. I have to admit I was a little bummed about that aspect of the treatment. I’ll still need to take the anti-nausea drugs for the first 5 days of chemo just to make sure that I don’t get sick. The bottom line is that I want to get better and if I want to do that, I’ll need to follow the doctor’s recommendations. This phase will last for 6 weeks. I have already conquered 4 months of heavy chemo; I know I can do this.

After my appointments, Ashley dropped me off at a local bakery to have lunch with two of my good friends. It felt really good to laugh and to visit with them. They are amazing ladies and I love them dearly. I have so many blessings in my life. I have a great deal of positive to focus on and that’s what I choose to do right now! J

Wonderful Sunday Happenings!

Sun. Aug. 19, 2012

I have to remind myself from time to time that Sunday is a day of rest. Rest from the world’s activities, but not from the Lord’s. We had a meeting at 10am with a member of our Stake Presidency and our high councilman to discuss our calling. It was a wonderful meeting. We attended Sacrament Meeting with Lexy in our home ward and then went down to the singles ward. We returned home around 3pm and I emailed all of the weekly singles ward activities out to the home ward YSA Couples so they can share it in their home wards. Lincoln made some yummy zucchini bread for the families that he home teaches. Then I started on dinner. Tyler and Andrea joined up and we really had a fun time together. Our garden is producing so much beautiful tasty treats that I’m thrilled. We had fresh tomatoes, onions and green pepper slices on our grilled hamburgers. It was delightful! I also made a yummy peach cobbler from the fresh peaches that a neighbor brought to us. Wow! It turned out pretty terrific. I made copies of the recipe for Ashley and Andrea to take to school.

After dinner, I helped Andrea with Thank you cards, Lincoln helped Tyler updating a computer and Ashley and Lexy hung out with us. After Lincoln’s home teaching appointments another neighbor brought by some delicious bacon wrapped chicken skewers and some pistachio encrusted chicken breasts to share with us. We were all in heaven! Today was a wonderful day of serving and being served and feeling God’s love in my life. 

Kinda feeling like a Super Hero

Sat. Aug. 18, 2012

This morning I got up early to go walking again. Tracy was busy, so Lincoln and Lexy decided to go with me. As we got about 3 blocks from our house, I asked Linc & Lexy if they saw a cape flying off behind me. They looked at my kind of funny. I told them that I felt so good, I felt like I was a superhero and that I was flying! J It feels so good to be getting stronger and to not just be alive but to feel alive!

We had a great walk together and Lincoln said he was quite surprised at the pace that we walked. I’m not winning any Olympic medals, but the last time he went on a walk with me, we only walked about 3 blocks and then turned around and came back home. This week my route has been 2.33 miles and we walk pretty fast. It felt good to know that this ‘chemo’ lady is getting some strength back. It’s very empowering.

Ashley had a vocal recital this morning. We went to support her and listen to all the other students sing. It was wonderful. Ashley was the last to perform and it was fabulous! She has the most amazing voice and she lights up when she performs. It was a treat to be there. I’m going to miss her when she leaves next week to 

go back to Utah State. She’s an amazing young woman.

Ashley - An amazing young woman!

Blessings Through Trials

Fri. August 17, 2012

This evening we attended a wedding reception for some good friends of ours. Their oldest daughter got married and it was wonderful to see them on their happy day! At the reception, I ran into several students from Rocky Mountain Elementary and they were so happy to see me. I had fun talking to them. One girl told me that her mom was helping in the kitchen and wanted to see me. 

I stopped by to talk with her for a few minutes and she gave me the biggest hug and congratulated me on my recent good news of moving from chemo to radiation. She said her family prays for me every day and I was so touched by her faith. Then she said something to me that really sank in. She said, “I’m so grateful for your journey and the opportunity that my children have had to pray for you and fast for you. Because of you, my children now have a testimony of miracles and the power of prayer. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this experience.” 

Once again, that thought came to my mind, ‘Remember, Lisa, it’s not about you.’ The Lord’s ways are not our ways and so much good can come out of challenges and trials. He truly is in charge and we must always remember, remember to trust in His will and His timing.

Getting Stronger Day by Day

Thurs. Aug. 16, 2012

I went walking with Tracy again today and it felt great. I can feel myself getting stronger. My right foot seems to bother me the most, but a few extra strength Tylenol and 30 minutes to let it kick in and I’m ready to head out the door and work up a sweat. I love talking with Tracy in the morning because she makes me laugh and feel good. I’m pretty comfortable waving at people as they drive by, even though I don’t have my wig on and I just have on my trusty baseball cap. It feels very liberating.

Getting Tattooed!

Wed. Aug 15, 2012

This morning I took off early to go to the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center Oncology Dept. There they ‘simmed’ me or I went through a simulation. It’s a process where they have me lie on a flat table in a room with a CT machine. The machine takes pictures to show where the tumor is and then the technician puts marks or ‘tattoos’ on my body so that every single time I get on the machine for my radiation, I will be laying in the exact same position as they administer the radiation.  I was expecting to have 3 tattoos. Nope. I have 5 tattoos. I asked if I could have a butterfly tattoo since we were at it and he smiled and said that wasn’t an option. Oh well. You never know unless you ask!

The tattoos look like black freckles they will use to line me up with the laser beams. I have one on either side of my torso, one at the base of my left rib cage, one on my sternum area, and on close to my left clavicle. It was a pretty straightforward procedure. The technician explained that Dr. Clark now has 3 days to look at my Pet Scan and tumor info and will determine where exactly my body will receive high doses of radiation to shrink the current large tumor and where to direct the low doses of radiation to ensure that the previous areas of cancerous activity in my lymph nodes is gone for sure.

I feel very optimistic about this process and feel at peace about where we are headed.

Looking to the Future with Hope

Tues. Aug 14, 2012

This morning I walked with Tracy again and it feels so good to be active and in the beautiful outdoor air. My feet are always sore in the morning, so I take my Tylenol early enough to let it start working before we get walking and it does help some. I don’t have to limp quite as much. We were able to walk 2.33 miles at a quick pace and I was thrilled!  I came home, changed and showered and then was ready for a little down time. Haha

Lincoln came home early from work and together we went to meet with Dr. Clark, the new radiology oncologist. I was a little nervous, but said a prayer before leaving the house to be able to understand what my future treatments will be like regarding radiation and how that will change my day to day routine at this point.

Linc & I met with Dr. Clark today for 2 ½ hours. He’s a radiation oncologist and works very closely with Dr. Breyer my oncologist. They are in the same office. I had butterflies in my stomach as we waited to be called back to an exam room. As soon as he walked in the door he had a big smile on his face and shook our hands. His nurse Vicky was very warm and reassuring as well. Dr. Clark began by explaining that he had looked over and compared my PET Scan from March 27^th of this year with the recent one on Aug. 8^th. He smiled and said the difference between the two was “Remarkable!” He said my body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to be doing in reacting to the chemo. He said there is no more metabolic activity in the lymph node system throughout my left chest area or neck except for the largest tumor which is in the upper area of my left lung. Wahoo! In a nut shell, he explained that I will go through 6 weeks of radiation, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. In addition, I will also be on a once a week low dose round of chemo that will help my body accept the radiation more effectively. Instead of 5 hours of chemo every 3 weeks like I’ve been doing, I’ll have a 2 ½ to 3 hour chemo session once a week.

After 6 weeks of this type of treatment, they will give my body a 3 month break from all treatments so that I can heal. They at the end of the year they will do another PET Scan and re-evaluate how my body has handled the treatments and then we go from there. He was very clear in that his goal was not to have my cancer go into remission, but to CURE me of this cancer. Wow! I can hardly process that thought, but I am so grateful for this miracle that is taking place in my life. I am so humbled that my prayers are being answered and that I’m getting better. It’s hard to put into words, but I’m going to live. I’m going to be here to share this mortal experience with my husband and children and I’m so, so grateful. I really feel like I need to keep my feet on the ground and just take this one step at a time, one appointment at a time and one day at a time, but I’m doing it with a smile on my face and a grateful heart.

Listening to the Spirit

Mon. Aug 13, 2012

Today would normally be the horrid Day 4 after chemo, but not today! Since I didn’t have chemo last Friday, I was really wanting to go out and go walking in the neighborhood for exercise. My feet are still pretty sore from the neuropathy, but I took some Tylenol and then cleaned the kitchen waiting for the medicine to kick in. I saw people running outside and walking their pets. I even saw my favorite visiting teacher run by and I just wished that I had someone to walk with. My daughter had been up late watching a meteor shower and I didn't have the heart to wake her early, but I felt sad that I wasn’t out among the movers and shakers this morning.

And then it happened, just as I resolved myself to doing laundry, my phone rang. It was my cute visiting teacher who had just gotten home from her fun and felt impressed to give me a call and see if I wanted to go for a walk. I was stunned! “Yes!” She told me to get ready and she’d be by in 10 minutes to take me for a walk. We were only gone about 25 minutes, but it was so wonderful to get out in the fresh air and move my body! I loved chatting with her and waving to neighbors that drove by. We stopped to feed the horses on the way back. When I finally got home, I was thrilled to have broken a sweat and earned a shower! I am so grateful for my friend listening to the spirit and giving me a call to go on a simple walk. It meant the world to me. I know Heavenly Father knows who I am and that he is aware of even my smallest desires. I am so grateful that my friend lives her life in a way that she can listen to the promptings of the Spirit and acts on them. In so doing, she blessed my life today for which I am deeply grateful!

Miracle still sinking in!

Sat. Aug. 11, 2012

Today was a surreal day! I woke up and looked out the window at the beautiful day ahead of me and thought, “Hearing yesterday’s news that the cancer is out of my lymph nodes is as surreal to me as the day that I was diagnosed and told that I have cancer.” I’m still trying to let it all sink in. I am still tremendously grateful and humbled by this miracle in my life. 

A Miracle Happened in My Life Today!

Friday Aug. 10, 2012 

I woke up this morning getting ready for round #7 of chemo today. Lincoln had an early appointment with our family doctor. His doctor asked about my cancer and my prognosis. The doctor asked if we had asked our oncologist if my cancer is terminal and if so, how much time do I have. He said we may want to be aware of the time frame in order to make some decisions about what we do with our time, if it is limited. I was stunned. How can I ask if it is terminal, if I feel at peace about what I’m going through. How can I have faith and hope for a miracle, if I’m asking if I have limited time? We decided that we will ask my doctor if it gets to that point that it appears that I have a limited time. Deep breath!

In the car as we drove to the doctor’s office, I told Ashley that we were going to ask some hard questions about how much time the doctor thinks I have and to be prepared for anything. Ashley looked at me and said, “Mom, you’re going to be okay. My patriarchal blessing tells me to counsel with my parents about my college education and about who I will marry.  I know that you will be around for me to talk to about those things. You’re not going anywhere.” I needed to hear her faith and conviction. I love that girl!

A miracle happened today! My PET Scan shows that all cancerous clusters in my lymph nodes are now completely gone! The only remaining cancer is the mass in my upper left lung. Now we move on to radiation. That means I did NOT have chemo today! Wahoo! I will meet with the new doctor next week to learn more details. A big THANK YOU to everyone who's been praying for me and for being a part of my miracle!

I was so grateful for the wonderful news that the oncologist shared with us today. I asked her if I could give her a hug and I thanked her. She replied, “What are you thanking me for? You’re the one who’s done all the work!” I thanked her for going to school and learning about medicine so that she could take such good care of me.” I also had Lincoln take a picture of us together.

I emailed and texted family and friends about the update on my condition and posted it on Facebook. I’ve received so many incredible well-wishes from so many friends from literally around the world. It has touched my heart and lifted me. What a wonderful, wonderful day of celebration! I thank my Heavenly Father for his tender mercies in my life and for listening to all of our prayers!

Busy Day Just Being a Mom

Thurs. Aug. 9, 2012

I started taking my steroid drugs again as I get ready for my next round of chemo tomorrow. It was a busy day just doing 'mom things.' I took Lexy to appointment with her school counselor and then Ashley to a dentist appointment. 

It was funny because the dentist commented on my new hairdo and how much he liked it. He said that he almost didn't recognize me. Ashley had a funny look on her face like "What are you going to say?" I simply thanked him. I think Ashley smiled in relief. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like talking about cancer. 

I had a long nap this afternoon. I think my body is trying to catch up on lost sleep from the reunion! Chad has been home with us working on the rest of his medical school applications and fixing some things on his car. It’s been so much fun to have him home and to be around him. 

PET Scan

Wed. Aug 8, 2012

This morning came far too quickly. I left at 7:30 am for my 2 hour Pet Scan. It went just as I had anticipated. I remember having one of these the day after I had my first round of chemo. The Pet Scan will detect the areas of uncontrolled cancer activity in my body and help the doctor to determine what my progress is in fighting the cancer and where we go from here with my treatments. She will go over the results with me on Friday at my appointment for round #7 of chemo. I'm just hoping and praying for the best.

Russell Reunion at Bear Lake

Sun. Aug 5 - 7, 2012

For three wonderful days, I had the to chance to rub shoulders with my family, my mother's side of the family with aunts, uncles, and cousins as we celebrated the Russell Family Reunion. People traveled from Washington State, Minnesota, and from various places in Utah. It was awesome! I'm sure that my grandparents, Joseph Franklin Russell and Marie Elizabeth Wintle were smiling from heaven as they saw their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren gather at Bear Lake to talk about our heritage, reconnect with one another and to have some good old-fashioned fun! 

We rented out 3 condos and had about 36 people in attendance. The days were filled with boating on beautiful Bear Lake and playing in the sand. The evenings were full of BBQ's, games and lots of laughter. The late nights were filled with competitive games of Pinochle, watching the Olympics, and yummy food. It was so much fun. I miss my grandparents, but I'm so grateful for those who sacrificed to come to this reunion and to keep our family ties strong. 

Wicked the Musical

Thurs. Aug. 2, 2012

Wahoo! Today is the day we’ve been eagerly awaiting for the past 18 months! We got to take the girls to see the musical ‘Wicked’ playing at the Capitol Theater in Salt Lake City. It was unbelievable! We all dressed in black and green in honor of the musical. Lincoln was a good sport and dressed in the theme colors as well. We met Lincoln at work and took the girls out to dinner first. Then it was off to the theater! We played the musical sound track in the car and the girls knew every single word of every song. There was such a great energy in the air!

The songs were wonderful, the costumes incredible, and sharing it with my girls and Lincoln was priceless. I love this show! I’ve seen it 3 times in 3 different places: Chicago, Los Angeles, and now Salt Lake City. Every time I see it, I walk away with a smile on my face and warm feeling in my heart. Life is worth living and I plan on defying gravity as I fight this battle against cancer. I’m not going to let it keep me down or beat me. I plan on flying. J

Lexy & Ashley

The Tickets!

Enjoying the evening with my guy

Outdoor Movie

Tues. July 31, 2012

Today I had high hopes of being able to go walking again for a little exercise, but my feet had a different idea. Instead I took it easy reading, working on family history, watching Olympics, and doing a little laundry.

On the other hand, my daughter Lexy and her friend, Jessi, had bigger plans. They organized an outdoor movie party in our backyard for the kids that were in their drama class the past year. At 3:00 this afternoon, they popped homemade popcorn, baked cookies, made signs and set up the backyard with blankets for people to sit on. They hung up a sheet on the fence to project the movie on and got the speakers, laptop and movie set up. They had about 13 or 14 friends show up to enjoy the evening as the sun went down. They ended up having a blast. 

I was very impressed how organized they were with everything involved. It’s nice to know that even though my life is ‘on hold’ for the time being, my children’s lives are moving forward filled with fun, adventure, and opportunities, just as they should be.

When we're working were happy!

Mon. July 30, 2012

This morning Ashley and I had to run some errands. I also made another large batch of zucchini muffins. It’s getting hard trying to keep up with the 2 zucchini plants that we have in our garden. Next year, we may need to just plant one!

This evening it was our family’s turn to help clean at the church. Linc suggested I stay home but I wanted to go and do what I could. My feet continue to be quite tender, so I volunteered to wash the glass on the foyer doors. Everyone else ran around emptying garbage cans, vacuuming the carpet and scrubbing toilets and bathroom floors. I enjoyed being able to be a part of cleaning the church and visiting with the other ward members who were there to serve as well. I’m grateful for the beautiful chapel that we have to meet in each week. 

Hanging out with the hubby!

Sat. July 28, 2012

Today Lincoln and I ran a few errands together. He was so patient walking with me through the stores. I’m such a little turtle some days, but it felt so good to get out and do something productive. The neuropathy in my feet seems to be getting worse and I just have to be patient with my feet. Some people say, “Just sit down and put your feet up!” Well, I can only do that for so long and then I tend to get a little stir-crazy and need to get out of the house! We ran into quite a few people at Wal-Mart and it ended up filling my ‘social’ needs for the day. Later at home, I kicked up my feet and watch a little Olympics.

This evening, our neighbor’s daughter had a wedding reception and another friend’s son had a missionary farewell ‘open house’ in their back yard. Lincoln and I attended both of those and again had our spirits lifted by rubbing shoulders with so many amazing people that live in our neighborhood. 

Olympics - London 2012

Fri. July 27, 2012

Today I felt like an 8 again (Lincoln has a rating scale to determine how good I’m feeling. Its a scale of 1-10 with 10 being “Let’s go skiing.”) I got dressed and took care of things around the house like laundry and some light cleaning. I still got my afternoon nap in, but when Lincoln came home I wanted to attend a friend’s wedding reception. I was so glad I was able to make it there and my friend was thrilled and surprised that I actually made it! After having gone through my son’s wedding recently, I have a much deeper appreciation for others’ weddings and wanting to celebrate with them on their children's special day.

Today is also the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics London 2012 and I have been so excited to watch the games. I made Lincoln take me to get Fish n chips for dinner so that I could bring them home and celebrate watching the opening ceremony ‘in true English style.’  It was a lot of fun and I’m so excited to root on Team USA for all of the upcoming events. It’s going to be awesome!

Gotta love those English Fish 'n Chips

Go Team USA!

Did You Say Chunky Cinnamon Bread?

Thurs. July 26, 2012

Every day getting better than the day before. Today Ashley & I made about 100 yummy zucchini muffins. We froze some for our family reunion at Bear Lake coming up in the next week. Others we made to share, and still some we kept to enjoy ourselves. We love having a garden with all the wonderful bounty that Mother Nature is blessing us with.

This evening a sweet friend came by to visit with me and Lincoln. She was my troop guide at Wood Badge and I just look up to her so much. She has such a quiet, peaceful, sweet spirit about her in all that she says and does. She brought me a yummy loaf of chunky cinnamon bread wrapped in a darling kitchen towel. It made me happy. I’m so grateful for good friends who continually lift me and bless my life.

Yummy Chunky Cinnamon Bread

Zucchini Sticks

Wed. July 25, 2012

Feeling good this morning, a little short of breath, but that’s normal for now. Feeling well enough to get showered and dressed for the day is a huge improvement from the way the last two days have gone. That meant I was ready for a nap by 10am, but at least it’s an improvement! J

Our garden has been going crazy with all kinds of yummy vegetables like cucumbers, zucchini, green peppers, tomatoes and onions. It’s wonderful. Ashley found a recipe for breaded zucchini sticks on Pinterest and she tried it out this afternoon. I sat in the kitchen and gave her morale support. It was quite a long process, but the end result was delicious! 

My girl cookin' up some 

delicious zucchini bread sticks!

Pioneer Day

Tues. July 24, 2012 Pioneer Day

It’s Day 5 and I’m still taking it easy. This morning my girls and I kicked off the day watching the Days of 47 Parade on tv. It was fun to feel like a little kid again watching the floats and cheering for the marching bands. Just another day of pajamas and napping, on and off. 

Ashley made me some yummy frozen berry smoothies to soothe my sore throat. Lexy checks on me every so often to fill my water bottle and get me a Popsicle. I’m so grateful for my girls and the love and service they show me.

Tonight several ladies from the ward came by with homemade soups for me to keep in the freezer for our family. They are wonderful ladies and our family is so grateful for their acts of kindness and service. I love my neighborhood.

Thank you, pioneers!

Another Day 4

Mon. July 23, 2012

Day 4. Today I was feeling yucky, but that is to be expected on Day 4. I was content to let myself hang out in my pj’s all day long and just watch movies with my girls in my bedroom. There’s a great feeling of freedom in allowing myself to be patient with my body and just let it heal. My sweet visiting teacher brought by some delicious homemade soup, and fruit for dinner tonight. It was exactly what I needed!